First of all, those shots look a little light to be Jager. Usually, Jagermeister is black like the color you see after drinking half a bottle and nine beers. Maybe these are Jager Bombs? They like their fruity drinks in the British Isles so they must be cut with some kind of sweet mixer. I had my doubts..until the end. I watched all the way through until the explosive finale. It was amazing how heavy those shots became after 30. The poor guy could barely lift them.
This is NOT drinking responsibly. Jager should be consumed at a steady pace until you start swinging punches at the person who came up to you and simply said, "Hi". That's when you know you should stop and leave before you're thrown out by bouncers you may have called "pussies". Again, I am not a Doctor...or a very good drinker.
I am not a frequent Air Traveler. But it seems every time I do travel with the Airlines, 4 out of 5 times there is a delay. It's just part of the luxury of the Jet Set. During these delays, the lowly coach passengers must forage for food and shelter in the terminal or in jungle-like heat on a plane parked on the tarmac. Meanwhile the first class folks get to enjoy the time in Caligula like comfort, going full on Orgy mode while rubbing lobster and steak from the endless buffet all over the super model stewardess' bodies. One day, The Economy Class will revolt and rig up a make-shift Guillotine out of $5.00 headphones and First class cutlery and watch the heads of the Air Royalty roll down the aisles.
Recently some stranded flyers took it upon themselves to supply some in-flight(or maybe, on-ground) entertainment. In this first video, members of the Philadelphia Orchestra, broke out their instruments to jam some Dvorzak during a three hour delay in Beijing. I hope they didn't have to pay for their pretzels..or any drinks.
In this next video, a passenger with a rarely seen boombox, leads his fellow prisoners in song with R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly". When you're sitting on a 100 degree Las Vegas tarmac in a steel tube for a few hours you have to laugh. Maybe the smell of steaming lavatories inspired this gentleman to play the R. Kelly.
Singing and laughing is definitely better than a violent uprising.
Unfortunately, right now, due to FAA Regulations, this can only happen in the UK. But isn't it brilliant?
Pizza can(and someday will) be delivered as the Crow(or drone) flies. Eliminating traffic hold ups and lost drivers. We also won't have to worry about tipping. I'm sure their could be some set backs. Someone might try to abduct the drone and use it for their own evil purposes like spying on their X-Wife. There's also the risk of the drone malfunctioning and falling from the sky, pizza and all, into heavy surface traffic. Causing a major accident and possibly second to third degree burns from the delicious hot cheese or meat.
Which brings me to my next point:
There has been a lot of discussion about the use of Drones by the U.S. government for the War On Terror. Whether it's collateral damage from a drone launched missile strike or the possibility of drones patrolling the skies over America spying on it's Citizenry. At what price our safety and freedom? At..what..price? This is my solution in two mouth watering parts:
1. Instead of firing missiles and taking out suspected Terrorists and possibly killing innocent bystanders in the process, why don't we drop a hellish rain of PIPING HOT PIZZA? That's right, harshly deliver one of America's favorite foods and main suspects for it's obesity epidemic? If we're lucky, a terrorist may suffer from horrific burns or maybe lose an eye from a slice of crispy pepperoni or stuffed crust. Imagine the horror of a Muslim terrorist if they were to discover that the pie or calzone that just burst all over them was a meat lovers pizza with extra bacon?
A more non-lethal method would be to set the drones down gently at their location with a couple of large pies, some bread sticks, wings, and a couple liters of soda. Once these guys get a woman to taste it first to make sure it's not poisoned they would go nuts! Of course the delivery would come with several buy one get one free coupons and the phone number. Because they'll be calling. After a few more deliveries we would then move on to phase two of Operation Fat Ass: Delivery of XBox Game Systems and Giant screen TV's. Once they hook that baby up and after a few dozen more food drops, they will never want to leave the cave. They'll be too fat to move and to obsessed with getting to the next level of Call Of Duty: Black Ops. Also, Pizza is way cheaper than missiles and pizza makers would be needed, thus creating jobs.
2. Regarding domestic drone surveillance, I say, give the power to the Pizza Guys. Why can't we spy on Americans while delivering delicious hot pizza? Domino's, Pizza Hut, and every other Pizza Joint that has a drone must also be responsible for community safety. While making a delivery, drones can keep an eye on the neighborhood and peer into the recipients home. We can have a NSPABSA(National Pizza And Bread stick Security Agency) If there is any illegal activity, perceived threat, or problem with your order, special Pizza Tactical Teams(PTT's) will be deployed to the location to take care of the situation.
Of course, there will be resistance. Evil Doers will try to take down the drones, creating a safety hazard and even worse..depriving Americans of their Pizza, or Sub, or wings. It won't be easy. But I believe it will work.
This first video is like a Mai Tai, after you watch it you're going to find yourself still laughing and your speech may be slurred. This is one of the greatest duets in the history of music. Thomas Dolby and the second man to walk on the MOON, Buzz Aldrin. Thankfully recorded performing at the Smithsonian's "The Future Is Here Conference. After walking on the Moon you can throw all f***s out the window and just have a great time.
This second video is like Prozac. Mr. Rogers has that effect on people of all ages. This video is the equivalent of taking your work blazer off and slipping on that comfy zip up sweater.
There..doesn't that fell better. Have a nice weekend..
During Astronaut Chris Hadfield's stint as Commander of the International Space Station he has used twitter to help us understand why exactly we are sending humans into space. Now he is using the Music Video medium on his last day in orbit to convey the beauty of looking down from on his home planet.
This is the first music video created in space and maybe the first recorded music. Hadfield recorded his vocals and guitar on the ISS while he had a band do the rest on Earth. Despite his Porno-stache he deliver's a heartfelt version of David Bowie's "Space Oddity"; a song, I always thought, was about heroin addiction. But with some minor lyrical changes for accuracy he does a pretty good job at a more literal translation. Talk about getting cred! This guy was able to get more high than any Rock Star in history. Plus he's had to poop in a bag for 5 month's AND he did it sober!
Safe landing Commander Hadfield.
Commander Hadfield, I have a request for when you come back to Earth. PLEASE do NOT do a cover of Peter Schilling's "Major Tom". That song drives me nuts! Thanks and congratulations.
I used to love Hot Dogs..not so much anymore. Yes, it's strange that this video of a guy inhaling them in a trailer park would turn me off to them as opposed to say..how they are made? Maybe it's the act of regurgitation? Either way, this guy has a talent. It's also why the internet was invented.
As this video was posted two years ago I decided to search for further information about Hershey Wood and find out where this amazing talent has taken him. My guess was Gay Porn. But I couldn't find much. I'm guessing he may have choked on a Weiner. Most likely at a sporting event or family cookout.
The AV Club has been doing their AV: Undercover project for a few years now with some really great results. You can see most of them here. Basically they invite bands to the Little Round Room in their office and have them choose from a list of songs to cover. Thankfully Gwar chose the Kansas classic "Carry On My Wayward Son" and tore it a new asshole. You can check out the video below. Amazingly they were able to fit all of the Antarcticans into that small space(including the giant penises)
Yes Oderus, I agree. "Sheer Brilliance!" You can see Gwar as part of Rock And Shock at The Palladium and DCU Center in Worcester. MA this weekend. If you do see Gwar watch out for the flying fluids and goo. Get a full listing of guests and events here.
In my quest to provide you with the most quality #foodporn I present to you The Boston Burger Company. Recently featured on Guy Fieri's Diners, Drive-Ins, And Dives, they claim to offer more than 20 types of Burgers, two of which, they brought into the studio yesterday. So, get yourself some napkins and some lube because here comes the meat:
This is the "Mac Attack": Mac and Cheese and bacon on a fat burger. What else could you possibly want on a burger? This is like the Tori Black of Burgers. Once you've had it you can retire. And this isn't boxed Mac and thinly sliced "might be" pig flesh. This is real Macaroni and Cheese with thick cut Bacon. I've nicknamed this one "The Nap Time".
And here's a picture of the very talented Tori Black for reference:
This one is called the "Hot Mess": Cheese, Shredded Lettuce, Sweet Potato fries, Red onion, jalapenos, bacon, pickles, and their own Spicy Thousand Island Dressing. This burger is loaded up like Amanda Bynes after a shopping spree at the local pharmacy. It's a sloppy mess to handle so you're better off eating it while naked then hosing off in the shower.
Of course, there has to be fries to go with your burger. If you don't believe that, then Homeland Security should abduct you from your home and send you to Guantanamo until you agree to Super Size. The Sweet Potato Fries at BBC are treated with a Caramel Sauce and sprinkled lovingly with Cinnamon Sugar. They were a little sweet for my taste so I could only eat about 2 lbs, but they would be great with a couple of scoops of Vanilla Bean Ice Cream on top. Just sayin'.
Well, that was good for me. I promise to continue to do my best to provide you with #foodporn until my heart stops. Which may be soon.
The top photo of LB swallowing a burger in one bite was provided by Greg Hill. No fingers were lost during the taking of that picture.
