MIKE HSU'S BLOG

Have a Threesome With The Colonel For Prom

I went to two Proms and I couldn't tell you what the hell happened at either of them.  Not because I was so wasted I can't remember.(Not that wasted anyway.)  They were just..uneventful.  The real fun was AFTER the Prom.  Those are stories I still can't tell because certain people are still alive.  I can tell you this, if I had given my date a fried chicken corsage it would be burned into both our memories for good or ill.  

Now, KFC is giving you lucky guys a chance to score big on Prom night with the Chicken Drumstick Corsage.  Yes, this is real.  Why?  Because AMERICA! That's f***in' why!  We're so fat, we're using greasy fried meat as a garnish for our Daughters.  There is a florist in Kentucky who, for $20, will send you a corsage kit and a KFC Gift card for $5 to get the Chicken.  Don't believe me?  Check this.   AMERICAAAAAA!!!!  GOD DAMN!

I'm sure my Prom date would have laughed her ass off but there are those freakish, soul sucking, Kardashian wannabes who consider the Prom to be the jewel in the life achievement crown.  As revealed by the most recent survey by Visa that states the "average" American family will spend around $978 on a friggin' Prom this year.  And that's slightly down for the first time in three years.  Priorities, right?

But at least the KFC Corsage is only $20.  My wife used to be a florist and would deal with psycho High School chicks with equally psycho Moms who were obviously trying to squeeze whatever High School Glory they felt they had left out of their daughters.  Money was no object to some.  There was even talk of bribery and extortion if the ideal corsage scenario couldn't be met.  Whatever.  It's just going to end up getting trashed on the floor of a limo..much like the dress.

But who doesn't love Fried Chicken.  Listen kid, even if she throws it back in your face, at least you'll have a delicious snack to cry over in the corner.

Check the video below.  At first the Father is acting like any would when a wolf comes to his door.  But once the Dude flashes that Drumstick..it's all smiles: