Icky Thump - The White Stripes 9:11 PM


The Colonel For Life!

Since I was diagnosed with a Fatty Liver and told to start adhering to a diet that won't kill me before I turn 50, I've been whining like a bitch.  Until further notice there is a moratorium on Beer, Fried Food, Grease, Fat, Bacon, and everything else that makes life worth living.  Basically, if I want to see my Daughter dance at her wedding I have to cut the crap.

Now, my practice of photographing my food and creating seductive #foodporn is just that.  It's Porn.  Which means it's totally unattainable in my real life. That's why we watch Porn, right?  Because it's fantasy.  Every juicy piece of Barbeque, every mustard laden brat wurst, every slice of creamy cheesecake, is now out of my realm much like that sloppy blow job from Sensual Jane.  I've had a good run.  Now it's time to pay the bill.  As Jack Bauer would say, "DAMN IT!"

Maybe I'll memorialize some of my greatest repasts on my skin like the guy below.  As part of the #HowDoYouKFC promotion, this Double Down enthusiast shows his true love for the sandwich by having it tattooed on his leg.  I think I'll visit my local tattoo artist and have a Grand Buffet of greatest eats inked across my body.  According to my Doctor, it would be better than IN my body.

Double Down Photo by Michael Saechang