MIKE HSU'S BLOG

The Beginning Of The End For The Plow Guy

During the various Snowpocalypse we have in New England I get calls from Plow Guys who have been up for over 24 hours, running on nothing but Red Bull and Marlboroughs.  They complain about the long hours and the nincompoop drivers who threaten death on the slippery roads.  But in the end, most say it's well worth it for the extra cash.

Well don't get used to it Mr. Plow, there's a new kid in town.  He may be small and runs on batteries, but he doesn't need coffee or a paycheck to get the job done.  The Robot Snow Plow by Superdroid Robots is the latest in back muscle saving, snow removal technology.  It's got 6 wheel drive and a plow that won't quit.(At least until the batteries run out)  Sure, it's $7900, but if I had the dough, I'd grab one up, attach a boombox to it, and crank Rush's "By-Tor And the Snow Dog" while plowing out my neighbors.  

How long until they start making the full on behemoth size vehicles that are controlled from the MEMA bunker?  After plowing, they could be used to crush all the space saving chairs.  After they become self aware they will force their human slaves to build flying drones to suppress and control any dissent.  Then as an act of mechanical vengeance, they will force what's left of the population to manually shovel snow continuously until they drop dead.  So, we've got that going for us.