Santeria - Sublime 12:00 PM


Are The Yankees Hitting The Eject Button?

So, A-Rod has been busted. Being a Red Sox fan, I should be happy about this. But somehow this peach that the gods have dropped in the Nation's collective lap seems a bit over-ripe. I'm still swilling NyQuil due to my persistent sickness, so please bear with me.Â

We know what A-Rod has told Peter Gammons. He's desperately trying to pull an Andy Pettitte and get the apology over with and move on. But his claims of naivete and youthful ignorance just get slimier every time they're mentioned. He didn't know what he was taking? He doesn't know how he got it? I'd like to see a Mass. State Trooper deal with this nonsense. "I swear sir, I don't know where this bag of pot came from." Or the favorite, "I found it." He must have been smoking kind bud to. That stuff kills your short term memory you know? He's also not clear weather or not the Players Union told him he had tested positive in 2004. So he wasn't really sure, and that's why he told Katie Couric a few years later that he never tested positive because he must have slipped by...I mean never done any banned substance...whatever it was he was doing or not doing. It was the culture you see. Everybody may or may not have been doing stuff that might have not been illegal at the time so it's hard to say who was injecting my ass with a syringe because it was happening so much that at some point you could stick a pitchfork in it and I wouldn't notice. Ok, Ok, we'll accept the damn apology just stop sounding like my 4 year old daughter when she gets busted for something. We already get enough of that from our elected officials. Unfortunately A-Rod, your apology is covered in some kind of cream that might be banned and it keeps slipping out of my hands.

Another thing I would like to know is the other 103 names on the shit list. These names were supposed to be kept private as ordered by the courts, so Major League Baseball could clean up their own greasy mess. Somehow go a hold of it. Or were they just leaked the name of the big fish? As a baseball fan, I would like to know who's been getting a little lift. Any Red Sox? George Mitchell would never say, being a former "Director" for the club. That dog and pony show he led for congress and Bud Selig was another colossal waste of taxpayers money. Why only A-Rod? Wouldn't an institution like Sports Illustrated want to break all the news before their competitors?

Here comes the NyQuil: Maybe, and I stress the MAYBE because what I am about to write has no basis on fact whatsoever. Maybe this is an out for the Yankees. A-Rod has not lifted the team upon is shoulders and carry them through post season to the big prize. With all the talent on that team, you think his addition would be the silver bullet. But with his lackluster post season performance and now the revelations by former Yankee skipper Joe Torre that he is indeed "A-Fraud" to his teammates, MAYBE the Steinbrenners are looking for the eject button. They have just invested a mini bail out amount of cash to get Texeria, Burnette, and Sabbathia to the Bronx. And with a brand new stadium they need to fill, carving out the A-Fraud tumor may be the key to achieve chemistry for the bastards? Like when the Red Sox ejected Manny. Sure, we didn't get a championship, but we made the post season. So did the Yankees right?.....oh wait a minute...sorry. Could A-Rod's contract be dismissed because of his past "naivete"? That would free up alot of cash for the Steinbrenners and help them pay for the load of superstars they just bought. It would also free up any tensions that the baggage of having A-Rod has wrought. He could be cast aside with the other dominoes like McGuire, Bonds, and Clemens. America is pissed that a CEO bought a $3500.00 waste basket for his office. What about the highest paid player in baseball cheating? Some Yankee haters would actually back the bastards. A-Rod would be relegated to challenging Danny Bonaducie to a boxing match and being a cast member of Dancing With The Stars. The Yankees would love it and so would America. A-Rod didn't lie under oath, but he did lie to America about America's game. This is all pharmaceutical induced conjecture of course. I'm sure it's all a grand miscommunication like most scandals are and we'll see A-rod at Fenway this summer. I wouldn't bring the kids to those games though.

Maybe it was the bitter ex-wife. She's got half his cash and everybody has a price.

Then there's Madonna and Kaballa Mafia.....