It's The Ho Ho Holiday Christmas Movie Countdown! Joy!
Here we are just getting into December and I'm already having a hankering for a glass of nog and a movie that gets me into the holiday spirit. My wife made me watch the classic White Christmas the other night. It doesn't get much more milquetoast than that. Plus it's a musical. Blecchhh! But as long as you keep thinking Bing Crosby was probably beating his kids between shoots it gives it a little edge.
When it comes to classic Christmas movies I think of A Christmas Story with Ralphie's quest for his favorite firearm and the kid who got his tongue stuck on a frozen pole(which was apparently foreshadowing) Or Rankin Bass' finest moment Rudolph The Red Nosed Raindeer. Remember: "BUMBLES BOUNCE!" Thank you Yukon Cornelius. Then there's the new classics like Elf and Scrooged. But there's also the non-traditional Christmas movies. Like Die Hard and Trading Places. Their stories take place around the holidays. But they still convey important Christmas messages like always make sure you have proper footwear while taking on international terrorist organizations and always invest in Frozen Orange Juice and Pork Bellies.
We've mixed them all into a delicious fruitcake of a bracket that you can vote on in between heavy shopping sessions on Amazon. I personally am rooting for A Christmas Story and Elf but don't let my love of Will Ferrell influence your vote. Just think of the children.
Well, round 1 was a disappointing blood bath of all that I thought was good about the baby Jesus' birthday! I can't believe Charlie Brown beat Bill Murray! There really is something wrong with America. Victories by the Muppets, Rudolph, and Arnold Schwarzenegger tell me you're all a bunch of sentimental softies when it comes to the holidays. HOW DOES A CHRISTMAS STORY NOT WIN! (intersting sidenote on director Bob Clark, he also directed Porky's! Merry Christmas!) Don't get me wrong, I love Randy Quaid as Eddie, but he's no Ralphie in a bunny suit.
At least Elf and Die Hard made it through. Let's see how Charlie Brown does against Hans...boobie...
VOTE! Do it for the baby Jesus!
Well, it looks like you're all not entirely nostalgic softies after all! Buddy the Elf made it past Macaulay Culkin to take on the indestructable JohnMcClane. Although Peter Dinklage as Miles Finch would make a pretty good Die Hard villain.
Looks like The Griswalds will make it to the finals after beating The Terminator. But can they stand up to the nostalgic favorite: Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer. Who doesn't bust out crying when Rudolph hits the trail alone and meets the orthodontia obsessed elf Hermie? What about the lonely inhabitants of The Island Of Misfit Toys? Actually, Uncle Eddie would fit right in on that island.
Well yippe-kay-yay Mother******! Looks like Buddy the Elf was able to get by John McClane for the final round! I'm sure John is muttering to himself right now, "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, get my ass kicked by one of Santa's helpers..."
And how about those Griswald's taking down the gigantic Rankin/Bass classic. Rudolph with your nose so bright...take that bulb back to the bench and take a seat!
Vote now for the best!! Christmas is depending on it!
This is the Final Round of the Ho Ho Ho Christmas Movie Countdown! Which is the greatest Christmas film of all time?— WAAF (@waaf) December 8, 2016