Free Fallin' (Live) - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers 2:37 AM

The Hill-Man's Blog

There is no sense of humor left...

Today, we reached a point in the long running, valiantly fought battle between free-speech and political correctness that tells me we will soon be a country of stone faced, silent drones who never dare laugh at anything that might be funny.

We've debated this before, over much more important subjects: should we force our children to utter the word "God" in the pledge of allegiance, is it wrong to display the ten commandments in a court of law, should Don Imus be fired for referring to a black basketball player as a "nappy headed ho", etc.  Christ, we spent months as a country fighting over the 1st amendment ramifications of an unusually large areola of a pop singer that made an unannounced appearance during the SuperBowl.  (Is it even ok for me to use the term "Superbowl"?  Never mind the NFL legal obligations, we don't want the other 30 teams that don't make it to the "big game" to be offended...and to think that they aren't "super" in their own right.)

Today, a professional athlete was suspended from his sport for joking about players who date his ex-girlfriend as enjoying his "sloppy seconds".  (For those innocent readers of this blog, most of whom live in Cambridge, and may not be familiar with the phrase, "sloppy seconds" is a derogatory term for a man who makes passionate love to a woman who was recently the receipient of said passionate love from a different man.  I know.  Shocking!)

NHL player Sean Avery (not on the list of "bright minds" Barack Obama is considering for his economic team) made the remark in Calgary because a player on that team is dating his old girlfriend, Elisha Cuthbert.  Another NHL player, Jarret Stoll, is dating another of his old girlfriends (or "sloppy seconds"), Rachel Hunter, who used to be married to Rod Stewart.  (Meaning that Stoll is actually getting "sloppy thirds", but I digress.)

NHL commissioner (and former circus midget) Gary Bettman felt that remark was insensitive, and suspended Avery.  You can watch the comment here and decide for yourself.  Mind you, this is a sport where you can take your gloves off before play has begun,  pummel another adult with your bare fist on his bare face, and get a 5 minute penalty!  And this guy is suspended because he repeated an old joke from the glory days of fraternity life?  How embarrassing for the NHL and Gary Heightman.

It is fitting this happens during the Christmas season because Bettman looks an awful lot like Herbie, the elf who just wanted to be a dentist.  And thats where Bettman belongs.  In a dentist's office.  Where the music is never loud or offensive, and nobody says anything controversial, that might actually make someon laugh, because everyone has that weird saliva sucking device jammed in their mouth.

Shame on commissioner Bettman and shame on the NHL.  I'm giving you a five minute major for too many prudes on the ice.  And another five for excessive lack of sense of humor.  Free Sean Avery.

Sean Avery should be praised by the NHL for bringing some attention to the sport.  Hell, he should be given a trophy for smashing both Rachel Hunter and Elisha Cuthbert.   They should create a new trophy to add to the Conn Smythe and the Norris, call it the Avery, and give it to the player who bangs the hottest A-list celebrity.

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