More Probable Than Not, Deez Nuts, and Return of the Hamburglar: Thursday 5-7-15 Recap!

May 7, 2015

This was probably one of my favorite games of all time... mostly because people just didn't get it. 

Also on today's show:

Inside the Warped Female Brain

Hill-mail

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Remember when you were in school and your parents would take you out for ice cream if you got good grades?  Times have REALLY changed. 36-year-old Chad Mudd of Largo, Florida and his 34-year-old wife Joey have 13 and 14-year-old daughters.  And apparently they've been bribing the girls to do chores and get good grades by offering them DRUGS. After the cops found out about it, Joey admitted she'd smoked WEED with her daughters five times as a reward for them . . . and she used it as, quote, "a bargaining tool." Chad took it to the next level . . . and did COCAINE with them as a reward. They were both just arrested and charged with child abuse and drug possession. 

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You know things are bad with the Baltimore police when a cop biting someone's genitalia is considered a sign of progress. 31-year-old Michael Flaig is a cop in Anne Arundel County, Maryland . . . and on Cinco de Mayo, he was off duty and drinking at a bar in Baltimore. Apparently Michael was getting kind of handsy with a woman, and her male roommate told him to stop.  So the two of them started brawling. And I'm not sure how this is even possible . . . but Michael managed to bite off one of the guy's TESTICLES. He was arrested and charged with second-degree assault.  There's no word on how his victim is doing. 

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Other than Ronald McDonald, there's no McDonald's character more famous than the Hamburglar.  Well, maybe Grimace.  Mayor McCheese?  Please. But the Hamburglar's been in exile for a while now . . . they haven't used him in an ad since 2002. Except yesterday they announced he's making a comeback.  And he looks . . . um . . . different. The Hamburglar you remember was cartoonish . . . he had a giant round head, one tooth, and a goofy smile.  The new Hamburglar?  He's a middle-aged HIPSTER. The guy playing the character in commercials isn't wearing a big funny mascot head anymore . . . it's just a regular dude with stubble.  He's still got the black mask over his eyes, a hat, and a striped shirt . . . but also has skinny jeans and red leather high tops. Oh . . . and he's a dad now.

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The official investigation into the "DeflateGate" scandal is over . . . and a ridiculous 243-page report has been released. Basically, it says that it's, quote, "more likely than not" that New England Patriots personnel tried to "circumvent" the rules . . . and that quarterback TOM BRADY was "at least generally aware" of what was happening. The people responsible for deflating the balls were an equipment assistant and a locker room attendant.  Brady did exchange texts and calls with the culprits . . . and those guys sent some incriminating, Brady-bashing texts to each other. It's not believed that anyone else participated, or had "any knowledge of the violation."  That includes Patriots ownership, coachBill Belichick, and the head equipment manager.  So what does all this mean?  Well, probably not much. The NFL is reportedly considering a punishment for Brady and the ball-deflators, but there's no word on what that might be yet. 

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