Macaroni Trail. Penis Nose, and Burrito Bathroom Sex: Tuesday 5-12-15 Recap!

May 12, 2015

Wanna know why LB missed work yesterday? Check it out:

Also on today's show:

Facts Schmacts

Hill-mail

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Olive Garden is famous for their breadsticks.  They may not be the most delicious thing in the world, but that's not the point.  The point is . . . everything tastes better when it's UNLIMITED. And Olive Garden just announced they're upping their game next month . . . they're going to start making breadstick SANDWICHES. Starting June 1st, you'll be able to get a chicken parm or meatball sandwich that uses breadsticks as the roll.  They'll only be available during lunch, and they'll cost $6.99 for the meatball and $7.99 for the chicken parm. The bad news is that the sandwiches AREN'T unlimited . . . you only get one.  The good news is that they come with a side of unlimited breadsticks.  No joke. 

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As far as d-bag tattoos go, this one is pretty clever.  But there's a time and place to show it off, and this wasn't it. 22-year-old Tom Washington of Grimsby, England has a tattoo of Pinocchio on his groin . . . so that his JUNK stands in for Pinocchio's growing and shrinking nose.  Pretty good, right? But . . . Tom was on a FLIGHT from England to Spain last Friday with 22 of his friends.  And he decided THAT would be a good place to show it. They were being rowdy in general, and had all dressed up as female flight attendants.  So you can imagine how they were acting.  But Tom flashing his Pinocchio tattoo in front of the other passengers and the REAL flight attendants took things too far. The airline banned him for LIFE. He says they overreacted and everyone on the plane thought it was funny . . . quote, "There were [even] some old men on the plane and they were laughing." 

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Man, I wish I could find a woman who got THIS turned on by cheap burritos and filthy bathrooms. 26-year-old Stephanie Miller of Midlothian, Illinois was out drinking a few weeks ago with her boyfriend, Matthew Slattery.  But she got kicked out of a bar when she got too belligerent.  So they went across the street to a Mexican place called El Burrito Loco, to have some food and sober up. But when they got there, Stephanie asked Matthew to take her to the bathroom . . . started STRIPPING once they were inside . . . and told him she wanted to have sex RIGHT THERE. He said no . . . and started peeing.  And she was so mad that he'd turned her down, she slammed his head into the WALL. She was arrested for domestic battery. 

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I love that these guys will live the rest of their lives knowing they got busted because they're messy eaters. Three guys broke into a build-your-own-hamburger place in Mt. Morris, New York around 6:30 A.M. on Sunday.  And they stole the cash register, the surveillance system . . . and a big vat of macaroni salad. Then as they walked home, they took turns eating it . . . and spilled a little as they went. So when the cops started investigating . . . they just followed the trail of macaroni salad RIGHT to the guys' door. 34-year-old Matthew Sapetko, 35-year-old James Marullo, and 23-year-old Timothy Walker were all arrested and charged with burglary, grand larceny, and criminal mischief.

 

  

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