So, there you are surfing the internet, and you're thinking, "I don't need a nympho- exhibitionist who will orally pleasure me and my fellow "Planeswalkers" while we're wearing full on Wizard costumes. I'm just looking for someone to talk to..and..maybe pretend they are my Girlfriend Digitally for the low price of $5." Well my friend, let me tell you about Girlfriendhire.com. Or better yet, let the creator of this somewhat sad yet useful site tell you how to be the envy of your friends and the object of female desire without catching any pussy diseases.
Edison College student Cody Krecicki created the site on his back deck in hopes of providing comfort for the socially awkward and starving co-ed population. For the bargain price of $5.00(much less than a lap dance) you can get a girl to post messages on your Facebook page, send you loving texts, make a video for you(sometimes wearing a bikini), or even do your homework. Because any good girlfriend would do your homework right? They even call them "Flings". Don't worry Nerds, there's no physical contact, you don't have to come up with a big line or even shower. Just fork over the 5 bucks and the next thing you know your buddies are high fiving you for finally getting laid. Unless they want to meet her...then you might be in trouble.
Here's a great example: This girl was paid $5.00 to say "Rob Burns Rocks!" and then punch her boyfriend in the face. I don't know what that does for anybody but that hot chick just earned $5.00 to put towards her dream of opening a puppy orphanage. So whatever.
Maybe I could pay a girl to make a video of herself making bacon....mmmmm, that's hot!
Yes, it seems kind of pathetic, but you have to start somewhere. Plus there are many other things you can make happen for $5.00. This is a great tool to prank someone with(or crush their lonely heart) Listen to the interview below to get more details. So break out those Lincolns, Girlfriends are standing by.
UPDATE: Well here's my new "Fling", Cene. Now I can tell all the guys at my weekly D&D meet up I've had female contact.
I'm going to try the bacon thing next. I'll keep you posted.