WEDNESDAY FINAL THOUGHTS: Since it’s a blow off week because of the Memorial Day weekend, here are your Friday Final Thought early so I can get the hell out of here Friday and go to Ocean Park:
POTENTIAL MACGYVER FEATURE FILM PLOT:
Since Hollywood won’t rest until they take every sitcom that has ever aired and turn it into a full length feature film, I think I have the perfect plot for the “MacGyver Project” when they get around to it. Check out the story of a French man the media is only identifying as Emile, who was driving his Citroen through the city of Tan-Tan, Morocco in North Africa. To avoid a military blockade, Emile cut through the Sahara desert. During the drive, he bent the axle and damaged the car’s frame, leaving him stranded. So, what does the guy do? Disassembles his vehicle and uses the parts to build a motorcycle, which he then rode back to safety. It took him 12 days! Are you kidding me? I wish I could do this kind of shit. I take my car to the mechanic when I run out of washer fluid. I wouldn’t even have the tools to take the car apart, never mind the knowledge to build the motorcycle. No idea how much duct tape he used but here’s a photo of the rescue vehicle:
OBSESSED WITH MILEY PART ONE: A lot of you have been asking “are you guys obsessed with Miley Cyrus”. The answer is yes. Many of you say in an outraged tone “what if that were your daughter” and I say “I’d be rich”. It’s clear from today’s highly discussed photo that Miley is setting a new course for straight sex bomb. Shedding the lovable teenage Disney star image and going full bore SIDEBOOB addict.
Is it iggy to stare? I don’t think so. She’s the one throwing it out there. Sure, she was a teenager once and everyone talked about how gross it was to look at her. But she clearly wants us to embrace her as a desirable, fertile baby maker.
OBSESSED WITH MILEY PART TWO:
Ms. Cyrus’s next film, “LOL: Laughing out loud”, will contain her first ever sex scene. Miley told The Sun that she did extra “workouts to make her boobs bigger, perk them up”. Are we to assume then that we will see them? The movie sounds like it’s target audience is 16-23 year old girls. So it will be odd when the tickets are predominantly bought by 45 year old perv men like myself.
TODAY, I WANT TO BE THIS DUDE: This is 60 year old international jeweler and playboy, Fawaz Gruosi. Currently smashing Tara Reid on the reg. They were recently seen “frolicking” on his yacht in Cannes. First of all, “frolicking”? No one over the age of 30 “frolics”. I’m 45 and there’s no way I have the energy to “frolic”. What they mean is this dude sits around on his yacht while a hammered Tara Reid orally “frolics” in his lap. I mean, look at the expression on his face
He’s basically like “I can’t believe I’m being photographed with this mess. Get back on my yacht and frolic nude for my old, rich friends.” He probably wishes he never stopped by his free jewelry party at the film festival and met her in the first place. Tara once dated Tom Brady….who will look at this picture and think about what could have been.
Happy early Memorial Day Weekend! Tune in Friday for a tribute to the “Greatest Generation” that will not feature Tom Brokaw.