WARNING: PETA Porn Can Kill Your Boner
by Mike Hsu
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posted Jun 6 2012 9:43AM
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The folks at PETA(People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals) have always been crafty about getting their message out by using the delicious Female form, which draws in the Meat eating Neanderthals like me. Now they are going "Hardcore" by launching PETA.xxx with the help of Porn Legends Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy who have both collectively eaten more meat than the entire nation of Bulgaria did last year.* Of course as a Pornography Zealot I had to peer into the the world of Vegetarian Adult Entertainment. But before you break open that fresh pack of Kleenex or grab your favorite sock, please read a
little further.
The first thing I have to do is give you this WARNING: The "Hardcore Videos" section is not the kind of ass-slapping, Bimbo squirting action you would expect. Instead it's Boner killing video footage of Animals being treated Unethically by Meat Packers, The Circus, and Research Labs. One of the videos is tastefully narrated by the always beefy Alec Baldwin. If you're into that kind of thing have at it! You sick f**k!
There are some interview videos with Jenna Jameson but not much going on as far as any kind of Penetration or self-pleasuration. There's also video with "The Hedgehog" Ron Jeremy but none that show his capacious Brat wurst. Probably due to PETA's aversion to sausage.
Some of the photos of Hot Chicks protesting in bikinis made of lettuce and taking Bubble Baths with each other in public are mildly arousing. Overall, I commend PETA for using the one thing in this country that sells the best: SEX! On the other moisturizer coated hand, Vegan Porn is much like Vegan Tacos; It looks delicious, but it tastes like a used Wet Nap and leaves you unsatisfied. Pass the Bacon, please.
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