Maybe you're one of those very few humans who has not viewed one of the six Star Wars movies? Maybe you are an Uber-Nerd and wear your Sandtrooper costume to work every day.(Don't tell me it's a uniform, it's a f****n costume) Either way, your head will explode watching this brilliant piece of work by Brit Youtuber Michael McNulty. What would posses a man to create this? I lasted about 9 minutes until I blacked out and woke up out in the street just wearing my Darth Vader mask.
This would be a great interrogation device for the C.I.A. Imagine running this on a continuous loop while force feeding the subject a steady stream of Snow Caps? Is this what goes on inside George Lucas' head all the time? Or is it just giant gold dollar signs wearing the hot Princess Leia slave girl outfit from The Empire Strikes Back?
Good Luck and....may the Force be with you:
I'm hoping someone does this with all the Police Academy movies...hint hint Michael McNulty.
That creepy guy we know that used to hang out at all of our High School parties has returned. In the video for Butch Walker's latest song "Synthesizer", Matthew McConaughey reprises his role as Wooderson from the Richard Linklater classic Dazed And Confused. If you haven't seen it it's one of the greatest Stoner Movies ever and a great look at growing up in the 70's. Even though I was 8 in 1976 I learned plenty from my cousins and friends older siblings. In the words of the man himself, "Alright, alright, alright." Wooderson is my favorite character from the film because we all know that guy that hung out with High School kids despite being 23. He was great to have around when you needed beer. But sometimes it got creepy.
Who is Butch Walker? Here's a list of artists he's produced:
Fall Out Boy
and many many others.
He was in an Atlanta band in the 90's called The Marvelous 3 who had a minor hit WAAF used to play called "Freak Of The Week".
"Synthesizer" is from his album "The Spade" which has a 70's Cheap Trick, Power Pop feel. This song is my anthem right now. It's lyrics are filled with truth and Wooderson hammers the point home. He is who he is and does what he does and despite what you may think about him, you always know you'll get the real deal..even though it might be a little..creepy. Also, speaking of creepy, if you pay attention, you'll see Porn Legend Ron Jeremy partying with a couple of hotties.
Nine Inch Nails have posted a documentary of their 1994-96 "Self Destruct Tour", possibly the most debauched period for Trent Reznor and crew. This was previously released on the "Closure" VHS in 1997. The 75 minute video is edited to give you motion sickness and contains scenes featuring tour mates David Bowie(who duets with Reznor on a powerful version of "Hurt") and a hung over Marilyn Manson. There is also much destruction of equipment and sanity. Back then, Nine Inch Nails shows were half Rock Show, half Gladiator Fight. This was the tour where Trent Reznor scared himself and ended up making the quiet and fearful The Fragile before disappearing for a few years.
Reznor has stated that he is bringing Nine Inch Nails back to the world in a reconstructed form and will be touring this year. Although in the video below, you see a man who has no concern for the future. Strap in(or on) and watch:
Imagine a hoard of Orcs who just got their asses handed to them by a bunch of Elves, Humans, and creepy glowing green skeletons. They're tired, bleeding, and most of all HUNGRY! Unfortunately they're in the middle of nowhere, Middle Earth, and the only thing in the area is a giant serpent in an old cave and some talking trees and they may have been stoned. Wait..what's that on the Horizon? Holy Sauron! It's a Denny's!
Beginning November 6 you'll be able to dine on "Frodo's Pot Roast Skillet" and "The Gandalf Gobble" at your local Denny's as part of their tie-in to the upcoming movie "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey". And why not? Hobbits eat like seven times a day. They have a second breakfast for crying out loud! There is nothing more nourishing than eating a "Hobbit Hole Breakfast" to keep you fortified for your journey to rid the Middle Earth of evil..or for your ride to work. You can even "Build Your Own Hobbit Slam". It's all starting to sound a little Hobbitsexual. The "Shire Sausage" will surely put hair on your feet.
Seriously, this commercial is probably not far from what you'll see rolling into a Denny's for "11pm After Ale Grease Gorge". It will be Ring Nerd Central with fat guys wearing cloaks and home made armor they built in their parents basement. Denny's will be handing out collectible cards and other items so you know it's true. I swear by the Fork of Theoden, it be the truth..
The Keys and RZA from Wu-Tang have made what I think is a very offensive video for the song "Baddest Man Alive". No, it's not the violence, or the hot waitress getting her shirt ripped off. It's the abuse of perfectly good food that really get's my cholesterol boiling. It's shocking and tragic the way RZA knocks over an entire table of delicious lo-Mein or how Dan Auerbach deems it necessary to wipe out a whole shelf of what looks like roast pork and broccoli. And I don't even want to talk about what they do to that poor fish. You know guys, kicking around plates of greasy Chinese food doesn't make you more of a man.
Despite all that, this song will be on the soundtrack from the upcoming RZA directed film, "The Man With The Iron Fists", which comes out today(10/23). Hopefully in the film, they'll spend more time beating and killing other people and not the food.
Here's the trailer for "The Man With The Iron Fists" which comes out November 2. It looks pretty bad ass. You can't go wrong with Lucy Liu kicking ass with a razor blade fan:
At first I thought it was going to be the Scatological Thriller Zombie Ass. Then I thought for sure it would be the inter mammary cleft focus ofZomboobies! But now I'm sure this latest product from the land of Used Panty Vending Machines will be the one that flies past The Dark Night, The Avengers, and Ice Age 3.
Dead Sushi( Or Deddo Sushi as it's called in Japan) is the story of the daughter of a Master Sushi Chef who becomes frustrated with her fathers harsh Kung Fu-like training and leaves to be a Sushi Chef at a mountain resort. She soon finds out the Resort is run by some questionable characters and realizes she must leave. But before she can do that, a Pharmaceutical Company comes to the resort for their corporate retreat and has a hankering for the raw fish. Unknown to all, a vengeful former employee follows them to the resort and injects a chemical into the Sushi that makes it come alive and attack the guests. Maguro, Hamachi, Uni, Toro, all become deadly, choking and slashing their victims which turned them into Zombies of course. Our Heroin must use her Father's Master sushi Chef training to stop this evil delicacy from spreading it's disease.
How can this not be a sure thing. Especially from Noburu Iguchi, Director of RoboGeisha. There's scantily clad hotties, a guy with a giant fish head in Samurai garb, and Sushi Sex(it's in the trailer). But much like my other two picks, the Hollywood Machine will surely suppress this greatness and send it straight to DVD in Asia only. Until then, I'm making sure my Sushi is thoroughly dead.
Vivid Entertainment has been cranking out the Superhero Porn Parodies like nobody's business as of late. They've taken on Superman, Spiderman, and even dared George Lucas legally with their excellent Star Wars parody that includes hot Ewok action. "Alex Braun's Avengers XXX A Porn Parody" is a Nerd delight. Not only because it has hot porn chicks dressed up as Superheroes, but it also includes MORE Superheroes than the actual Avengers movie. There are appearances by Spider Man(Xander Corvis), Spider Woman(Jenna Presley), The Scarlett Witch(Danni Cole), Ms. Marvel(Lexi Swallow), and She-Hulk played by former WWE Star Chyna who was made for the role.
Unfortunately there is no Super-Orgy. Imagine the Earth shaking power of a Super Power session with Hulk, Black Widow, Iron Man, Nick Fury, Ms. Marvel, Spider Woman. I was also hoping for a Hulk Vs. She-Hulk slam session with tumbling buildings and earth cracking jack hammer action. But no such luck.
Despite not including my nerd fantasies this is a hilariously entertaining film. It has a Classic, loosely threaded Porn plot, great lead in lines to the sex scenes like Ms. Marvel telling Nick Fury, "You are really excited by this aren't you? Well, were going to have to do something about that." I love it! Yeah, I know, why the hell am I paying attention to what there saying and not fast forwarding to all the sex? Because it's great seeing things like Spider Man giving Hawkeye the finger(the gesture) and The Scarlet Witch explaining her powers in that sweet ditzy porn star voice. Also, I noticed during the first sex scene between Black Widow and Hawkeye the audio of the various actions was amplified or embellished to the point of almost being louder than the dialogue. Obviously because using super powers during sex makes it much louder.
Most of the costumes are pretty good for the budget they're working with although Iron Man's mask looked like the one you get when you buy the bag costume at The Halloween Outlet. And all the female costumes are thankfully much tighter and more ill fitting than in the Comic Books. Chyna is a natural for She-Hulk, painted up green all over. Even She-Hulks vajajay is green on the outside as we see in her scene with Thor. On a side note, I'm pretty sure She-Hulk didn't wear 80's style Reeboks with scrunchy sox. Also, you would think Thor would be as huge as his Hammer. But the Gods must have given all the size to Loki.
The hottest scene by far is the Super-Lesbian hook up between Ms. Marvel and Scarlett Witch. The scene takes place in what seems to be The Avengers' make- shift basement gym where both happen to be exercising. See, even Superheroes have to hit the gym. Who knew? It's amazing how Scarlet Witch keeps her Headgear on through the whole scene which gets quite acrobatic at times.
Ms. Marvel also seduces Spider-Man who has the voice of a 35 year old smoker and not a teenage Peter Parker. Spider Man keeps his mask on the whole time which makes for interesting cunnilingus. I was hoping the scene would include him hauling Ms. Marvel up to the ceiling or having the money shot spray from his wrists, but again, it's not about my perverted Comic Book fantasies.
Much like the other real Marvel movies they leave the end open for a sequel which I'm sure will be cranked out in the next couple of months. Overall it was pretty good. It took me four sessions to make it through the whole thing...because it's almost two hours long. Plus there's a boner..I mean bonus disc full of extra features I haven't even gotten to yet. Once the chaffing goes away I'll get to it.