As long as there are no “cosmic abnormalities”, then the 2012DA14 asteroid will barely miss a collision with our planet tomorrow. The asteroid will come within a mere 17,000 miles of Earth, missing a catastrophic collision by about 14 minutes. Of course, you know that I’m full of irrational fears, so I’m not taking this lightly. Hence:
THINGS TO DO BEFORE THE 2012DA14 Asteroid OBLITERATES OUR PLANET TOMMOROW
1. Check Homeland security website for “list of things to do in the event of a molten hot asteroid collision with Earth”
2. Lose the 10lbs from the New Year’s Resolution
3. Watch every episode of “The Kardashians” to see what I’ve been missing.
4. Purchase expensive Valentine’s gift for Mrs. Hill on lay-away
5. Download the “temperature at which skin blisters” app
6. Stock up on dip
7. Tell Kate Upton that I love her, and that I have always loved her
8. Convert to Scientology
9. Buy Zombie Appocalypse emergency preparedness kit
10. Set up asteroid damage tour with Lt. Governor Tim Murray for Saturday
So, that’s what I’m doing today. How about you? What will you spend your final moments before we burst into dust doing? What’s on your list? And don’t bother to tell me that this blog is a Hill-man jinx situation. I’ve already considered that and it’s terrifying.