You've probably got a routine down for how you start work each day. But if it seems like you're not organized enough, or you just want to be told how to work by crusty dirtballs, this list might help...
--According to "Forbes", these are the first six things you should do when you get to work each day... We altered the list a bit for you, our dedicated minions.
#1.) Get there on time, when you can... It's not just because being late makes you look bad. It's also because not being there on time can throw off your whole day, as well as others. But if you don't give a crap about the millionare jerk-off (who you are making rich each day) one bit, then roll in when you get there.
#2.) Take a deep breath, and puke in your waste bucket. According to one expert, you should sit down in your chair, stop for a few seconds, and just breathe. Your hangover will pass. The buzz from that spliff will subside, and you will sober up soon. Breathe and vomit, breathe and vomit. Simply GETTING to work can be stressful, waking up is hard, so it's good to take a few seconds and slow things down when life gets real.
#3.) Give yourself five sixty minutes to settle in. Don't just dive into a project or start making phone calls. Chill the hell out for a few, call your girl, or better yet hit on the new girl. Get a coffee, take a crap and get situated. It's your bosses dime. Try to start your day with something less stressful, like to hell with organizing your desk or listening to your voicemail.
#4.) Say Hello to People the hot chicks. Even if you're not much of a morning person, chat up the chicas. Don't just let them sit there... Say HELLO (don't email them though, your significant other might find the evidence) it shows that you're at least making an effort. And it's even more important if you're the boss is a hottie, they usually are into abusing their power, and will smash you out after hours.
P.S. One of the biggest pet peeves for employees is when their immediate supervisor gets to work and doesn't acknowledge them. So keep it up. Who the hell cares if they FEEL warm and fuzzy. It's work people, not day care.
#5.) Organize Your Day. According to "Forbes", the first hour of your workday is the best time to prioritize and figure out what you DEFINITELY need to accomplish. So we suggest the exact opposite. Do this at the end of your day so you can totally scew off for the remaining time of your work day.
--But a lot of people get distracted in the morning by things that don't actually need immediate attention. So just refer back to #3, or go out and smoke a joint...
--Here's one of them . . .
#6.) Don't Get Distracted Answering Answer Emails. If you HAVE to check them first thing in the morning, go ahead... but skip the ones that aren't are urgent. It's usually pretty easy to tell just from reading the subject line. Anything with exclamation points, avoid. Anything with multiple exclamation points, just totally delete that drivel. No one wants to get to work to a bunch of work. Delete and play dumb... "Hmmmm... I never got it?" should be the response in your clip to fire out the second your boss asks.
--A lot of people end up checking ALL their new messages, and guess what? Their life SUCKS. Then Hopefully you stumble on some video link a friend sent with some nudity in it, or a dash of new porn, and end up wasting 20 minutes to an hour, which hopefully throws off the rest of their your day.
Now get to work and go back to bed.
