It's time again to grab your favorite beer and liquor and drink your way through another Presidential Debate. Because nothing help's a voter decide better than getting totally dismantled...I think Benjamin Franklin said that? Who cares really, the candidates make sh*t up all the time, right? So here are the official rules for the 1st Presidential Debate Of The 2012 Campaign with Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney
and President Barack Obama:
Take a drink of your beer if either candidate says the words, Economy, Jobs, or Taxes. They'll probably say these words a lot so just a drink. Don't want to pass out before halftime.
Chug your whole beer if someone mentions 47%
Take a shot if one of the candidates says "The Truth is..", "Obamacare", or "Health Care". Take two shots if a candidate utters the term "Middle Class."
If one of the candidates says "Mormon" don't drink.
If Moderator Jim Lehrer happens to say, "Will you guys just cut the CRAP?!" then eat an entire box of chocolate doughnuts(the large size, no minis)
If Mitt Romney says "Gosh" then Butt Chug whatever you got in front of you.
If either of the candidates agrees with each other then punch yourself in the face.
Finally, if even one hair falls out of place on Romney's head, immediately inject yourself with heroin while making love to your pet.(If no pet is available then you can use a sock or a jar of Fluff)
There you go. Pretty simple. Make sure you take notes because those are always funny to look at the next morning. Now here's a picture of one of our greatest Presidents treating himself after kicking some Nazi Ass: