For hardcore gamers it was an ongoing dilemma. How do you maintain bodily nourishment to keep your marathon game of Halo going into day 3 without hitting pause on your greatest round ever? We all know the amount of time and valuable brain space it takes to pause your game and put down your controller to take a bite of your processed sodium packed food product. And it's not like watching porn and eating because you need BOTH hands on the controller. What A Hassle! Now, Mod Genius Ben Heck has unlocked the key to fueling your ever expanding mass of inactive blubber while still killing a record amount of Hookers in GTA4.
In the video below Master Heck shows how to modify your XBox controller to hold a dispenser to project a Hot Pocket into your face while playing an uninterrupted session of Skyrim. Innovators like Heck are what makes America the greatest. But I do have a couple of suggestions:
We need a way to add power to the dispenser so we could heat the Hot Pocket while playing. Maybe some kind of toaster like heating element or even a mini microwave device. Because that's what we need, something producing dangerous levels of heat while we are flailing our controller on the couch.
There should also be adapters to fit larger food items like a Sub or maybe even a rotisserie chicken.
We also need a water filtration device attachment with a remote controlled butane powered flame torch to light the bowl. But then we'd have to change the attachment to accommodate our raging munchie attacks and that would again waste time and effort we need to kill hookers. Yet another great dilemma for the hungry hardcore gamers out there.
Corey Taylor and Shawn "Clown" Crahan unveiled their new film and TV productioin company at the Sundance Film Festival this past weekend. Living Breathing Films will concentrate on family friendly G rated entertainment about Christian values and Unicorns....yeah right! It will actually focus on more familiar territory for the two Slipknot members: "mystery, suspense, horror and the dark side of life".
Both Taylor and Crahan will be taking part in the writing, directing, and producing, as well as acting. They debuted their first short film "Thy Shalt I" which you can view and get creeped out by below. Looks like the guys are trying to escape their masked personas and evolve beyond Slipknot....or does it? I'm hoping they do a remake of the "Dukes Of Hazard" TV show but portray the Duke Brothers as psychotic, inbred, raping, and pillaging Rednecks that run drugs, shine, and guns, to the KKK. Just an idea guys....call me...
The Red Hot Chili Peppers have always been pioneers in the Music Video field. They use the medium as another avenue to freak you out. Even as MTV phased out playing actual music videos to make way for a steady stream of diarrhea the Chili's kept cranking out interesting, groundbreaking, and most of all, entertaining videos. You can check out their vast body of video work here.
Their latest two videos continue the trend of visually striking madness.
"Monarchy Of Roses" is based on the work of legendary Punk artist Raymond Pettibon. Back in the 80's he created some of the most indentifiable and disturbing work for flyers and albums for mostly SST Label bands like Black Flag, Minutemen, and Sonic Youth. His brother Greg Ginn was in Black Flag and the label's founder. If you ever wanted to horrify your parent's you could just leave out an album with Pettibon's handiwork for them to see. They were sure to want to have "a talk" with you. The Chilis have always given a nod to their early 80's Punk roots. Like dedicating "Blood Sugar Sex Magic" to former Minutemen/Firehose bassist Mike Watt. Check out Ray Pettibon's site here.
Their newest video is for "Look Around", also from "I'm With You". Each member in their own "room" which I'm assuming is a reflection on their personalities. Anthony Keidis is at home with his son(who makes a brief appearance looking confused) and his dog. But he's also wearing prison stripes. Maybe feeling a little trapped? There's also a freaky little androgynous person(kid?) emerging from his refrigerator. Maybe this is the little bit of wildness still left in his sober soul. Chad Smith is in a bathroom sitting on his "Throne" playing the drums with a punching bag nearby. I'm guessing he still loves bathroom humor and beating the shit out of stuff. Josh Klinghoffer seems a little less willing to share with his sparse surroundings and general indifference. Or maybe by only having his guitar and amp he's letting us know it's all about the music. Flea seems to be the only member left that has retained the original goofiness of The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Which to me shows where the heart and soul of the band really are.
Jane's Addiction's new video for "Underground" is filled with freaks. No surprise there. Do you know what album cover and band they are referencing in this video? Leave your guess in the comment section below.
Tensions are higher than ever between the U.S. and Iran over the latter's Nuclear Program and their threat to close off the Strait Of Hormuz, effectively strangling half the world's oil supply. But that doesn't stop Sailor's from abiding by the laws of the sea.
Three times in the past month U.S. Navy and Coastguard patrolling the Persian Gulf have assisted and rescued Iranian Mariners. The latest incident happened yesterday when the Guided Missle Destroyer, USS Dewey came to the aid of stranded Iranian fisherman. Earlier this month U.S. forces rescued a group of Iranian fisherman being held hostage by Somali Pirates and then days later the Coast Guard rescued another group of Iranian fisherman after their boat started taking on water. In all cases the Iranians involved were very grateful, unlike their government who continued to irritate the already severely tense relationship between the two countries.
While the actions of our Sailors is to be commended, my rezin soaked brain cells clicked into paronoia mode...
I think it's rather strange that so many distressing incidents that happened to require the assistance of U.S. Military ships occured in such a short span of time during such a period of uneasiness between the two countries involved. I have two theories.
1. The Iranians are manufacturing these incidents to get a closer look at U.S. Ships to better plan a attack under the guise of a distress call or to actually try to commandeer one. They now see we are willing to help any ship in distress at sea and are gauging how to take advantage of our good will. Or maybe they are working on a distraction plan to pull our ships away from one area to create an incident in another. Either way, there have been a lot of Iranians getting a nice close look at Destroyers and Cutters these days.
2. Navy Seals are creating these incidents by sabotaging these vessels which are in close proximity to U.S. Ships. By swooping in and saving these hard working Iranian fisherman we are showing the people of Iran that our beef is not with them but their oppressive regime that they failed to topple last year. It's all part of an elaborate "Hearts And Minds" campaign to send a message of support.
Both have good intentions but are extremely dangerous to Internet Freedom and On-Line innovation and business. If these bills are passed any company can accuse a Website of copyright infringenment on "a good faith belief" and have them shut down without due process. It would allow the U.S. Government to restrict Websites much the same way the governmnets of China, Iran, and Syria do.
The U.S. sets the standard when it comes to the Internet. The U.S. is also hurting for jobs the last time I checked the news online. This would also limit start ups and innovation.
My personal paranoid opinion is the U.S. Government has witnessed the part the Internet and Social Media has played in the revolutions in Egypt, Tunisia, Syria, and the failed attempt in Iran, and are looking to be pro-active in having a way to shut everything down when we finally get fed up with the two party succubus. The less information we have and exchange the better, right?
(The following should be read with the voice of Leonard Nimoy)
Murray claims he was not on his phone at all during his 42 minute thrill ride. He also initially claimed he couldn't produce phone records from that time because the phone company doesn't itemize calls and texts. But you can ask your phone company for that list, right? Why doesn't he do that? I believe Tim Murray was on the phone. I believe he was desperately trying to facilitate negotiations between State and Federal Authorities and the Big Foot Colony that lives in the Leominster State Forrest.
I believe the Government not only knows Big Foot exists but has reached a deal with these Man-Beasts of super strength to let them live on State and Federal Woodland areas in peace. Why keep them a secret? Since the North American Big Foot is 10 times stronger than a human they believe they would make an effective fighting force. Imagine it: Soldiers that not only posses super strength but have the most superior survival skills on the planet. A platoon of Big Foot(or is it Big Feet?) could be parachuted deep into enemy territory and not only cause major damage and chaos, but also scare the shit out of all who encounter them. There may even be some serving right now. In exchange the government let's them live on "reservations" where they are free to hunt and procreate. There may also be an agreement that if they are discovered by a civilian, they can eat them without prosecution. I also believe another reason we are doing this is because the Chinese have brokered a similar deal with The Yeti(or Abomidable Snowman) in the Himilayas and that is how that keep the peace in the far Western parts of their country. It's a Big Foot Arms race. I'm sure back in the 60's the Natick Town Forrest became to small due to suburban developement and the colony had to be moved from the convenient location next to The Natick Army Labs to the larger Leominster State Forrest. I'm sure past Governors of Massachusetts and other states that have "BF Reservations" have known about them in case they had to be mobilized to assist the National Guard or be used to quell any kind of uprising or invasion.
Which leads us to Lt. Governor Murray's connection...
Since Murray is a life long resident of Central Massachusetts he was a natural choice to be Big Foot Liazon for Governor Deval Patrick.(who by the way makes his home in Berkshire County which I'm sure is crawling with "The Foot" which he uses to protect his home) My belief is, after the "Halloween Blizzard", The Big Foot's home area in Leominster suffered severe tree damage which could comprimise their secret status. They requested to move to the Mt. Wachusett Area but State officials believed it would be too risky because of heavy emergency crew traffic. "The Foot" insisted and Tim Murray was called in to calm the savage beasts. He rushed up to Leominster and found "The Foot" representative insistent on talking directly to the Governor. Patrick agreed and Murray and "The Foot" rep(stretched out in the back of the Crown Vic to accomodate his massive size) raced down Rt. 190 to meet at a secret location in Holden. I believe the Big Foot, uncomfortable in the relatively tiny Crown Vic backseat) shifted his body and the weight threw the rear end of the car off the road causing Murray to lose control. The Big Foot Rep then grabbed the Lt. Governor and sheilded him from the crash with his gerth allowing Murray to escape with just a scratch. That has been the biggest question: How did Murray walk away from such a horrific crash? I think he immediately volunteered for a brethalyzer test to start a diversion for the media who he knew would investigate the incident thoroughly. After noticing a passing motorist the Big Foot Rep ran into the nearby woods. I believe Murray was also on the phone with Federal "Foot" Authorities trying to convince them the meeting was imperitive. That's why we will never see his phone records. Or if we do, they will be altered to hide that information.
He let the Big Foot drive.
Another question is: How much does Sammy Hagar know? The latest Chickenfoot song "Big Foot" may be a clue to his knowledge of the program. If there's one person in that band who knows anything for sure it's Joe Satriani. He's most definitely from outer space. Chad Smith may even be a by-product of cross-genetic experimentation with a Big Foot.
What do you think? Your thoughts are always welcome in the comment section below. Like I mentioned in a previous blog, it looks like they were given $500,000 to make a video(adjusted for inflation $2.5)and they spent 50k on the video and the rest on something else. Although I speculated it was cocaine in the previous blog, this time around it might be Motrin, Lipitor, and Viagra. Again, I am not a doctor. It's good to see the goofiness remains intact. It's not Rocket Science, it's Rock-N-Roll.
Black Sabbath released a statement today letting fans know Guitarist Tony Iommi has been diagnosed with Lymphoma.
Here is part of the press release:
"Legendary BLACK SABBATH guitarist Tony Iommi has been diagnosed with the early stages of lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphocytes, a type of cell that forms part of the immune system.
Iommi is currently working with his doctors to establish the best treatment plan and remains upbeat and determined to make a full and successful recovery.
This comes as BLACK SABBATH — Ozzy Osbourne (vocals), Tony Iommi (guitar), Geezer Butler (bass) and Bill Ward (drums) — are writing and recording their first album in 33 years in Los Angeles (still set for release this fall) with producer Rick Rubin. They will now go to the U.K. to continue to work with Tony.
Lymphoma is the name for many different types of cancer that arise in the lymphocytes (immune cells). There are three types of lymphocytes: B lymphocytes
(B cells), T lymphocytes (T cells) and natural killer (NK) cells. B lymphocytes make antibodies to fight infection; T lymphocytes have many functions, including helping
B lymphocytes make the antibodies that fight infection; and natural killer cells attack cancer cells and viruses. Lymphoma may arise in any of these types of lymphocytes.
In general, B-cell lymphomas are more common than T-cell lymphomas; however, in the skin, T-cell lymphomas are the most common type.
About 20 percent of the white cells in the blood are lymphocytes. Most lymphocytes are found in the lymphatic system, the major part of the body’s immune system. The
lymphatic system consists of a network of organs, including the spleen, the lymph nodes (small bean-shaped structures located throughout the body), the lymphatic vessels and areas in the gastrointestinal tract.
Lymphoma is divided into two major categories: Hodgkin lymphoma (HL) and non-Hodgkin lymphoma (NHL). Cutaneous T-cell lymphomas (CTCLs), cancers of the
T lymphocytes, constitute a rare group of NHLs that arise primarily in the skin and have various signs and symptoms, outcomes and treatment considerations."
Tony Iommi has created some of the most heavy and Evil riffs in the history of recorded music. Now he is facing the same Grim Reaper his band has been creating songs about for over 40 years. I wish Mr. Iommi nothing but the best of fortunes in his battle with this disease. The announcement on the Black Sabbath Facebook page in cluded the statement, "
His bandmates would like everyone to send positive vibes to the guitarist at this time."
Thanks to Doug Sherman for sending this to me. Fair quality for a phone/camera. David Lee Roth sounds like he's struggling a little but he's been doing it for 40 years. Still a great showman. What do you think? Letme know in the comment section below. Be fair, this is recorded on a phone.
The mighty Van Halen will play a show at the Café Wha? tonight in New York kicking off what is looking to be not just a cash/reunion tour but a full blown comeback with a new studio album due out on 2/7(according to the latest reports). We could be hearing new stuff here at WAAF soon and tickets for their TD Garden show on March 11 go sale 1/14 at AM.
I should correct myself for saying "reunion" in the previous paragraph. Unfortunately original bassist Michael Anthony will not be joining them because HE was obviously causing all the problems in the band.(Sarcasm) I think this new album and tour totally hinges on the health of Eddie Van Halen. Hopefully he's straightened himself out and has gone back to regular crazy instead of that babbling homeless guy crazy Sammy Hagar talk about in his book.
According to Swiss Shopping site CeDe the album could be called "A Different Kind Of Truth". You can see the details here. This will be the first full studio album with David Lee Roth since "1984". I remember waiting with friends, New Years Eve 1983 for the MTV premier of the "Jump" video. We were gathered with bottle of schnapps and bags of weed getting primed for what would, in our minds, definitely be an event to be compared to the Tunguska Event. When the video finally came on at Midnight we all froze, speechless and amazed at the incredibly sparse and stupid production. It looks like they were given a $500,000 budget to make it but only used 9 and spent the rest on cocaine. We were underwhelmed to say the least. They later made up for it with one of the greatest music videos ever made for "Hot For Teacher" and and amazing album of which "Jump" was the weakest song in my opinion.("Drop Dead Legs" is still the best).
Just to give you an idea of how long ago that was here are some other notable events of the year 1984:
US "Ma" Bell was declared a monopoly and broken up clearing the way for everybody and his skeevy Uncle to start a phone company.
The 1984 Summer Olympics were held in Los Angeles, California but were boycotted by the Soviets because we boycotted the 1980 Moscow Olympics to protest the Soviet invasion of...Afgahnistan.
Johnny Carson(the guy who hosted the Tonight show before Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, and Jay Leno) hosted the 56th Annual Academy Awards where "Terms Of Endearment" was the big winner including Best Picture with Oscars also going to Jack Nicholson and Shirley MacLaine for their performances.
The single "Do They Know It's Christmas" was released to raise money to help the Ethiopian people fight a deadly drought and famine.
A new drug was introduced into the Greater Los Angeles area called "Crack". It was a real big hit with the kids.
And some guy named Mark Zuckerberg was born who grew up to attend Harvard University and start a Social Network called Facebook the most people now think is real life.
So a lot has changed since the last studio album from Van Halen with David Lee Roth. Except in Afgahnastan...and Ethiopia...and Crack is still around too and the kids still think it's pretty fly.
Here are some notable broadcasts from 1984:
President Ronald Reagan joked about bombing Russia with a "Hot Mic". That Gipper, always joshin' the Reds.
Welsh Comedian Tommy Cooper died of a heart attack live on Television. At least in his final moments he kept em' laughing.
Ok, that's a little creepy. But so is David Lee Roth.
Hopefully you brought in 2012 with a big bang(both audibly and physically). I always believed the whole point of ripping it up on New Years Eve was to exorcise the demons and bad vibes of the previous year and start the new one with a scorched palate ready for more abuse....that was before I had a kid. Let's just say, since then, my New Years Eve celebrations have been of the PG variety. This past weekend I blasted into the new year by drinking A beer and reading "Prince Caspian" to my daughter in her room with Hello Kitty, her Horsey Pillow Pet, and assorted Barbies. Yeah that's right, I started 2012 surrounded by babes and animals. Pretty crazy right?
I unfortunately didn't get the invite to Russian billionaire Roman Abromovich's St. Barts, Caligula-like extravaganza. It must have been lost in the mail. The USPS is having a rough time these days. I would've liked to hang out with George Lucas, Rupert Murdoch, Russell Simmons, while being entertained by The Red Hot Chili Peppers but I was busy rocking the C.S. Lewis with my 7 year old in Worcester. You can check out pictures of the affair here. I think I had the better time.(I keep telling myself that)
I would've liked to have been at the Mala Restaurant in Maui though. That's where the forces of the Universe conspired to have 3 of the Wizards Of Weirdness convene to entertain a lucky few. Steven Tyler, fellow ragged veteran Alice Cooper, and a man who has parodied both, "Weird" Al Yankovic, played the apropo "Come Together" at the small oceanside Tavern. There is video evidence of this below. I sincerely hope that all three were inspired to collaborate on a new "Supergroup". It would make the Lou Reed/Metallica partnership look like the Today Show. It would be so orgasmically weird that Steven Tyler would weep afterwords and Weird Al would find himself pregnant with Cooper's child. If this were to actually happen what would they name themselves? CT&Y? Whole Lotta Hair? Billion Dollar Accordions? Let me know your ideas in the comment section below. Happy Weird Year!