The Hill-Man's Blog

BLOOD DOPING SCANDAL NUMBER ONE:  What do you make of the Lance Armstrong decision, announced today, that he won’t fight the stripping of his record breaking seven Tour De France titles?  I want him to fight it.  If he’s innocent, I would think he would fight.  Authorities say that ten of his teammates were ready to testify against him.  That’s pretty damning.  Although, he has never failed a test.  He was, and I guess you have to say was, considered one of the greatest athletes of all time.  Now, he will be considered a cheater.  Will his new bracelets read “Live Wrong”?  

BLOOD DOPING SCANDAL NUMBER TWO:  Here’s the man who ruined your new porn session this weekend:

Mr. Marcus has admitted that he is patient zero when it comes to the syphilis outbreak that shut the porn industry down this week.  Mr. Marcus got himself a shot of penicillin, and waited ten days before returning to the set.  Problem is, you can still spread the syph until 90 days later.  Mr. Marcus acknowledges lying to producers and partners about his STD test.  Told them all was “a-ok” down there.  So it doesn’t matter whether it’s professional cycling, or professional smashing, a real athlete will always do what it takes to win.

IRRATIONAL FEAR:  PRIMATES IN SANTA SUITS:  You know I’m terrified of primates.  Well, this dude most likely is now, as well.  This poor guy was attacked by his Macaque Monkey,  JayJay, outside his home in Florida.  Jimmy Schmall and his family used to dress the monkey up in diapers, Santa Suits and whatever else apparently floated their boat.



He even swam with their kids.  I am constantly ridiculed for my irrational fears but it doesn’t seem so stupid to Mr. Schmall I bet.  How is the 4 hour surgery to repair your monkey chewed arm and butt treating you today, sir?  Monkees, and other amimals don’t like being locked in cages.  As a Florida animal expert said “You cannot change a monkey into something it’s not”.  Like Santa Claus.  

STINK OF LIFE:  This is the Beanie Baby Billionaire.  Ty Warner.  He was lost in Santa Barbra and pulled in to a parking lot to get directions.  Ran into Jennifer Vasilakos, who was collecting donations for a rare stem cell treatment she needed to help her ailing kidneys.  Mr. Warner gave her a 50 spot and then took off.  Shortly thereafter, he sent a check for 20 grand!  All I can think about is how unfair life is.  Why couldn’t that have been Spaz in the parking lot, selling Magic The Gathering cards he stole from his kid’s Grandfather?  Imagine if that 20,000 had been able to be used for something important, like furniture for Anthony’s house, or faux nuggets for Narium?

And now….as I limber up and get ready for 4 hours of the greatest Rock n’ Roll recording artist of all time tomorrow night at Gillette….today’s FINAL FRIDAY THOUGHTS:

THAT’S HER?  Wait.  That’s the woman Chad Johnson threw a reality show…I mean, marriage…away for?  No disrespect, but I was expecting to see some exotic, supermodel, sex kitten type.  Millions of femaile followers on Twitter and he picks her?  This girl, of course,  was kind enough to tell her whole story of love to Radaronline.com.  Classy.  What happened to the good old days when professional athletes had a chick in every city and then they would come off the road and no one was the wiser?  It seems the technology that Chad has warmly embraced is not helping him out here.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS:  I bet the guy who owns this place is sitting on his G5 right now and telling his minions that he can’t believe he spent all that cash improving his mansion with the backyard water park and he can’t sell it.  Check this out:

How awesome would it be to have the backyard water park available for “after hours”?  Or maybe we should all just show up and start using it and if anybody protests, tell them that Barack Obama said this water park belongs to everyone?

THAT’S CALLED IRONY:  Horrendous story today about a college student who was mauled to death by the dogs that lived with her.  Rebecca Carey of Dacatur, Georgia devoted her life to saving animals.  And see the thanks she gets?  The Spaz philosophy is at play here.  Why bother helping others when you know they will just turn on you.  This poor girl rescued the pitbull that ended up killing her.  It’s kind of like what happened with Chad Johnson and his mistress, only he didn’t die.  

FLORIDA NOT LIKE THE REST OF US:  PART 84.  Can’t leave for the weekend without sharing the mugshot of this frisky lady from East Naples.  When police were called to the Green Valley Circle Community Pool they found Ms. Merrie Killian receiving oral pleasure in the deep end.  Chances are that, had Ms. Killian been a younger, more attractive resident of the cul de sac, cops wouldn’t have received a phone call.  The lady probably would have been made chairman of the Labor Day Pool Party committee.  This kind of thing only happens in Florida.  Never in Stow.

Have a great weekend and listen to us Monday!

Tomorrow morning Josh Beckett will be on our show and after the interview is over, I will get a bunch of text messages saying that I “lobbed a bunch of softballs” his way.  Doesn’t matter what I ask.  People in this town expect that there is always mega-drama behind the scenes in our professional sports locker rooms and they aren’t happy until they smell blood.  Imagine if every one of us was interviewed at our workplace every day?  Imagine if there were ten reporters outside your cube after you finished a meeting with your boss asking you what you thought of him?  Would you really tell Gordon Edes that you can’t stand the guy you work for?  “Yeah, my manager, Laurie, is a complete moron.  I work my ass off and all she does is bust my nuts over what I haven’t done.  I hate this place.”  How long do you think you’d last there?

I’m not sure what we expect from interviews with these guys.  Do the Sox players hate Bobby Valentine?  Maybe.  Are they spoiled professionals who don’t want a manager telling them how to play the game? Probably.  Are we any better at our place of business?  No.  Do you really enjoy some business school grad who never did your job telling you how to do it?  

Tomorrow we’ll ask the “tough” questions.  Who’s the snitch?  Would you punch Bobby V if he made a Middlebrooks-like snide remark to you?  (The Blogger said he would). Does everybody hate the manager?  Are you bubbling over with happiness playing here in Boston for the Red Sox?  I have no control over how Josh decides to answer.  But keep in mind when you tune in at 7:20, that we’re asking him to comment on the people who sign his massive paycheck….and they still owe him about 31 million over the next two years.

In the meantime, one thing I know is that Josh helps raise a ton of money every year for Children’s Hospital.  So, please join both of us at Beckett Bowl this year.  

Monday August 20^th  Lucky Strike Lanes

Tickets available at BeckettBowl.com