The Hill-Man's Blog

A lot of people think the "Fifty Shades of Grey" phenomenon is a good thing, because it gets women all aching in the loins and ready to do things in bed they never would've tried before.  Well . . . nope.

--According to a new survey, now that erotic fiction is popular again, 44% of women prefer reading it versus actually HAVING sex.

--43% say "Fifty Shades of Grey" made their sex lives seem routine and boring by comparison.  The most common complaints are that their own sex lives seem low energy, unimaginative, and stressful compared to the sex in the book.

--And this erotic fiction trend is still peaking . . . 68% of women say they plan to read more books like "Fifty Shades of Grey". 

FINAL FRIDAY THOUGHTS…before heading to the beautiful State of Maine to celebrate Father’s Day….

THE 54 MILLION DOLLAR DANCE MACHINE:  Everybody is talking about whether the Pats should have given Wes Welker a long term deal before they gave it to Rob Gronkowski.  Idiotic.  Have you seen Gronk dance?  This is what an NFL Tight End should be able to do on the dance floor.  Look at the video from last weekend’s Zolioke event and tell me that 54 Million bucks doesn’t make you a better dancer.

As an aside, I have never been a great dancer.  I think it’s because I’m not sure what to do with my midsection.  It doesn’t flow the way it does for Gronk or Chris Brown or Danny Terrio.  I’m gonna keep working on it.  

IF YOU’RE WILLING TO TAKE A BULLET FOR THE PRESIDENT, YOU DESERVE THIS:  And now…the backside of the Colombian prostitute that brought down the entire US Secret Service.  This chick accomplished what Lynette “Squeeky” Fromme and John Hinckley, Jr. weren’t able to-she brought the Secret Service to their knees.  Literally.  Now, she signing deals to take her clothes off all over the place.  She might be the richest non-drug dealer in Colombia right now.  I’m sure the White House doesn’t see it this way, but if you are willing to step in front of a bullet for me, you can have all the crazy hooker sex you want on my dime.

NOT SO PUBLIC BATHROOMS:  We had an interesting discussion on this on the show today.  The nanny patrol that runs this State wants to pass a law that demands businesses let anyone with an irritable bowel issue be allowed to use their bathroom whenever they want.  I get it.  When you have to go, you have to go.  But why is it just those who have a medical issue?  This show be open to all citizens of the Commonwealth who can’t hold it.  There’s nothing worse than trying to think of something else while you look for a gas station with a public restroom that doesn’t look like a back alley abortion was just performed in it.  Business owners don’t like this proposed law because they don’t want any random dude coming in to their private bathroom and doing god knows what.  Where do you stand?  Or sit, as the situation may be.

Now that we've conceded that everyone in America is deliciously chubby and it's not going to change, we can relax . . . and start getting down to the business of eating.  Here are two new inventions to help.

--Pizza Vending Machines.  A European company called A1 Concepts has announced plans to start setting up PIZZA VENDING MACHINES in the U.S.  They've been a huge hit in Europe, and will be here before the end of the year.

--They're called "Let's Pizza" machines, and they cook you a fresh pizza in just two-and-a-half minutes.  The average price will be a reasonable $6 for a 10-and-a-half-inch pizza.  (--Here's a video of Let's Pizza.)

--Burger King's Bacon Sundaes.  Starting tomorrow, Burger King will be offering BACON SUNDAES nationwide.

--They feature vanilla ice cream covered in hot fudge, caramel, and bacon crumbs.  A full stick of bacon also sticks out.  They check in at 510 calories and are only going to be available for the summer.

RadarOnline.com has released a rundown of the INSANE MONEY the cast of "Jersey Shore" is pulling down for the upcoming sixth season . . . and you should be warned:  It's pretty depressing.

--SNOOKI, THE SITUATION and PAULY D get the most.  They each make $150,000 per episode.  There will probably be around 12 episodes, although the official number hasn't been set.  That comes out to about $1.8 million.

--But they also got a $400,000 "signing bonus" . . . and will get another $200,000 bonus after the season wraps.  If MTV decides to add additional "reunion episodes" at the end of the season, they'll also get $150,000 for each one of those.

--That puts the grand total in the neighborhood of $2.55 million.

--The rest of the cast is also picking up ridiculous paychecks.  JWOWW makes $100,000 per episode, and VINNY rakes in $90,000.  RONNIE and SAMMI each make $80,000 per episode.

--DEENA makes $40,000 per episode.  (--That should soften the blow of the $500 fine she could get after being arrested for drunkenly walking through the streets over the weekend.  Although, MTV will probably pick that up, too.)

(--What a great example of the American Dream!  Just three short years ago, Snooki was reportedly earning only $200 per episode for the first season of "Jersey Shore".)

RELATED COMEDY:  Snooki is upset about nude photos of her that were leaked online.  Even more upset about the photos?  Everyone who saw them.

Here's the full round-up of occupations that harbor the most cheating husbands:

IT/Engineer (10.6%)
Financial Industry (8.2%)
Education (6.5%)
Doctors (4.6%)
Lawyers (3.8%)

What about cheating wives? In May, the site polled 2,865 of their married female members and found that the typical cheating married woman was in her 30s, married for five years or less and had a daughter under three years old. She is also likely to be a teacher, a stay-at-home mom or work in the medical industry, according to a representative from Ashleymadison.com

For More go here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/11/cheating-husband-ashley-madison_n_1582387.html

Police chief wants to fine potty mouths: wpri.com

You'd THINK the most sexually deviant living creatures were Germans, or MAYBE the Japanese.  Turns out neither of them can compare to PENGUINS.

--Back in 1910, a team from England went on an expedition to the South Pole and came face-to-face with penguins.  The leader of the expedition was a Navy captain named Robert Falcon Scott, and he was APPALLED by their sexual DEVIANCE.

--In fact, he was SO appalled, he kept everything written about their sexuality from being published.  Until recently, when some museum curators found the manuscripts.

--According to the reports, the penguins were constantly pleasuring themselves . . . both genders would forcibly have sex with other penguins who weren't expecting it . . . they got-it-on with same-sex penguins . . . and they practiced necrophilia.

--If you're not familiar, necrophilia is having sex with corpses.  Apparently that was pretty common stuff among the penguins.

 . . . While Writing a Memoir Called "The Kindness of America"

--39-year-old Raymond Dolin of West Virginia has been hitchhiking across the country, writing a travel memoir called "The Kindness of America". 

--On Saturday, he was hitchhiking off the side of Highway 2 near Glasgow, Montana.  (--That's up in the northeastern corner of the state, about 100 miles from the Canadian border.)

--Around 6:00 P.M., a man drove up in a maroon pickup truck . . . and SHOT HIM.  That's right:  The man who's hitchhiking across the country to prove how kind Americans are ended up getting shot in a random drive-by.  In MONTANA.

--Raymond was able to flag down another driver for help.  He was taken to the hospital where he's still recovering.  The gunshot wound wasn't fatal.

--The police were able to track the pickup and they arrested the driver, 52-year-old Charles Danielson the Third, from Washington state.  He was drunk at the time of the shooting, but didn't know Raymond and didn't have any motive to shoot him.

--There's no word on when Raymond's book is going to come out . . . or if he's rethinking the title.

SNOOKI wants her son to drink breast milk, even though she's a little worried about the whole breastfeeding process.

--She told "Good Morning America", quote, "I'm just scared.  My friend did and she said it was so painful . . . but I definitely want to pump because it's the best nutrients for the baby."

--Even pumping has its downside . . . quote, "It's kind of like you're a cow and you're just milking."

--She also revealed the kid's name . . . quote, "I think we're going to do 'Lorenzo'.  Because then you can call him 'Enzo'."

Got a birthday coming up?  Don't panic . . . but it just might KILL YOU.

--According to a fascinating new study of more than two million people by the University of Zurich in Switzerland, you're more likely to die on your birthday . . . or within a few days of it . . . than any other day of the year.

--And the chance goes up the older you get.  By age 60, you're 14% more likely to die on your birthday or a few days around it than any other day.

--The researchers believe that the stress that comes from your birthday is the big reason.  A birthday makes you think about how old you are, that stresses you out . . . and it can actually increase your risk of a heart attack or stroke.

--The study found that men are also more likely to die on their birthdays from accidental deaths . . . and suicides.  The researchers think that could be tied to men being more likely to drink heavily on their birthdays than women.

This one comes to us from the "It Was Only A Matter Of Time" department:  Naked pictures of SNOOKI from "Jersey Shore" hit the web over the weekend.

--Unfortunately . . . or fortunately, depending on how high your standards are . . . they're CENSORED, and there are no uncensored versions out there.  At least not yet.

--In the photos, Snooki is snapping herself in a mirror.  She's wearing a white robe in one shot.  She's opening it to reveal her naughties in another shot.  And in another, the robe is OFF.

--And these ARE legit, because Snooki's rep says, quote, "Clearly these are old and personal photos that were not meant for the public.  It's a shame someone decided to leak them for obvious personal gain."

--There are also some pics that are supposedly of Snooki's cast mate ANGELINA PIVARNICK taking nude shots of herself, too.

65-year-old Max Reinhart was a German music and literature professor at the University of Georgia in Athens, Georgia.  I say he "was" a professor because after this scandal and this mugshot, I just don't see him being able to teach any more.

--On Thursday, Max was arrested . . . because it turns out he was moonlighting as a CROSS-DRESSING MALE-ON-MALE PROSTITUTE.

--Apparently, Max had been advertising his services on a website called Backpage.com, in the "transsexual escorts" section.  He listed himself as Sasha.

--Last week, an undercover cop contacted him.  Max told the cop to meet him in a room at the Guest House Inn in Norcross, Georgia.  In the room, Max offered the cop 30 minutes of sexual servicing for $60.  Then he was arrested.

--Max is facing two prostitution charges.  He's been tenured at UGA since 1994.  The school says they are investigating the charge and they, quote, "will take appropriate action."

In a protest against the school's new dress code, students at Stuyvesant High School in New York City took a stand against the administration. Yesterday, nearly 100 students participated in a student-organized "Slutty Wednesday" protest,according to the New York Post. The students -- both boys and girls -- took to the streets of lower Manhattan in revealing clothing, with flyers that read, "Redress the Dress Code."

The dress code in question bans the exposure of midriffs, visible underwear, shoulders and lower backs, and mandates that the hemlines of all shorts, skirts and dresses fall below the line of the fingertips. It also prohibits students from wearing articles of clothing with images or words deemed inappropriate.

Freshman Lucy Greider, who claims that she’s been sent to the office 10 times this year for dress code violations, told the Post: “We work our asses off here and school is about learning. Clothing is not important."

Some students say that the dress code is unfair to more full-figured girls. One studenttold the New York Times that certain body shapes are more targeted, and that curvier girls are more frequently called out for dress code violations. Others insist that not being able to wear more skin-baring items of clothing is a comfort issue when the weather gets hot.

For more go here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/07/slutty-wednesday-stuyvesa_n_1577348.html

GRAND MARAIS, Man. _ A group of junior high school students have alleged an adult tricked two of them into chewing on moose droppings while on a school canoe trip.

The Winnipeg Free Press reports that Lord Selkirk School Division trustees are hearing the accusations by Grade 8 students from Grand Marais in a closed-door meeting.

The allegations stem from a May 25 trip involving about two dozen students from Walter Whyte School, accompanied by teachers and other adult chaperones.

Some of the children say the adult convinced two kids by telling them the moose poop was a nutritious mixture of wild berries and grass.

Angie Jonski said her nephew was one of the victims.

``They all laughed _ he ran to the river to wash his mouth out,'' Jonski said.

Her niece later turned down the droppings, Jonski said, but her niece's friend accepted.

Here is the link from the Canadian Press: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2012/06/05/grand-marais-manitoba-students-moose-poop_n_1572519.html

This year is the 50th anniversary of silicone breast implants.  And believe it or not, the first woman to get implants is still alive . . . and still has her original implants.  Her name is Timmie Jean Lindsey, she's 80 years old, and she's a great-grandmother. 

--In 1962, when Timmie was 30, she went to a hospital in Houston, Texas because she wanted a few rose tattoos removed from her chest.  Her doctor was Frank Gerow . . . the man who invented implants . . . and he asked Timmie if she was interested.

--She was.  Gerow performed the operation, and Timmie went from a B-cup to a C-cup.  She says, quote, "It made men more aware of me.  More men would whistle at me."

--She says she never suffered any side effects from her implants . . . although they finally started to sag around age 70.  They've also calcified a little bit, so occasionally they get sore.  But she says she has no regrets.

--And while she loves that breast reconstruction can be used to help women who have had mastectomies, she's not a huge fan of women getting ENORMOUS implants.  Quote, "I really think surgeries that go overboard are a cry for attention."

Back in March, Taco Bell released its Doritos Locos Tacos nationwide.  If you somehow missed it, those are Taco Bell tacos with a hard shell made out of Doritos.

--And now, Taco Bell says that it's their most successful product ever . . . and it just might be the MOST SUCCESSFUL FAST FOOD ITEM OF ALL TIME.

--In the first 10 weeks, Taco Bell has sold more than 100 million Doritos Locos Tacos.  In comparison, it took McDonald's 18 years to sell its first 100 million hamburgers.  (--Although there were a LOT less restaurant locations and customers back then . . .) 

--Full sales data isn't available on an item-by-item and restaurant-by-restaurant basis, so it's hard to tell if another chain sold that many units of any item quicker.

--Taco Bell's previous sales record was the Crunchwrap Supreme.  They didn't give the exact numbers, but they did say it was so popular when it debuted in 2005 that they made it a permanent menu item in 2006.

--Now that the Doritos Locos Tacos are so successful, Taco Bell is planning to expand and try OTHER Doritos-flavored shells.  The current ones are nacho cheese . . . Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos will most likely be next in line.

When you take a look at this photo you will NEVER want to go out into the sun again . . . without a sunscreen that's an SPF 45,000.

--The photo is of a 69-year-old man who drove a delivery truck for 28 years.  (--His name wasn't released.)  So for 28 years, the sun was on the left side of his face for several hours a day, every day.

--And looking at his photo now, the right side of his face looks normal for someone in their late 60s.  But the LEFT side of his face . . . which took all those decades of sun . . .  looks like the face of someone who's at least 100 years old.

--We all know too much sun makes your skin look old . . . but seeing the effect on one-half of one person's face is SHOCKING.

--Two dermatologists at Northwestern University just published a report on the man as part of their study on just how damaging the sun can be to the skin.  Their verdict is . . . it might even be more damaging than we believe.

Last week, a survey came out with the top reasons men and women get dumped . . . including things like fighting too much, not being ready for a relationship, being too high maintenance, physical issues, and sexual issues.

--The website that did the survey just released more data digging even deeper into breakups.  Here are five of the interesting facts they found . . .

#1.)  People are most likely to break up after one month because one person drinks too much.  At six months, the top breakup reason is "I'm not ready for a relationship."  After six months, the top breakup reason is too much fighting.

#2.)  Of the people who broke up over sexual reasons, the other person's low sex drive was the reason 19.3% of the time . . . a high sex drive was the reason 10.3% of the time.  "Finishing" too quickly was the reason 6.9% of the time.

#3.)  People are more likely to get dumped for being TOO TALL than TOO SHORT.  Of the people who ended things for a physical reason, 19.4% said the person was too tall, 8.3% said the person was too short.

#4.)  The physical feature that drives the most breakups, sadly, is chubbiness.  22% of people who've ended things for a physical reason said it was the other person's weight.

#5.)  Gambling is the most destructive of the four biggest bad habits.  Of people who ended things over a bad habit, 27.3%blamed gambling, 15.2% blamed drugs, 15.2% blamed drinking, and only 6.1% blamed smoking.

We've got to give Best Western credit.  They know that some SHADY, SHADY THINGS go down in their hotel rooms.  They know the aftermath of those shady things doesn't always get properly cleaned.  And they're going to fix that.

--Best Western International has announced that they're about to implement a more aggressive strategy for room cleaning.

--They're going to start inspecting rooms . . . and, we hope, sheets . . . with "CSI"-style BLACK LIGHTS that can show them the nasty stains and other germs the eyes can't see.

--Then, they're going to use UV sterilization wands on things like phones, bathroom fixtures, light switches, and other areas that don't normally get cleaned but can be the home of horrific bacteria.

--By the end of the year the cleaning procedure will be rolled out in all Best Western hotels.

A survey by a website called StudentBeans.com found out which majors sleep around the most . . . and least . . . during college.  Here's what they found:     

--These majors have the MOST sexual partners:      

#1.)  Economics:  They have an average of 4.88 partners in college.

#2.)  Social Work, Community Care, and Counseling:  4.7 partners.

#3.)  Marketing:  4.57 partners.

#4.)  Leisure, Hospitality, Travel, and Tourism:  4.56 partners.

#5.)  Agriculture:  4.44 partners.

--And here are the majors that have the FEWEST sexual partners:      

#1.)  Environmental Science:  They have an average of 1.71 partners in college.

#2.)  Theology and Comparative Religion:  2.13 partners.

#3.)  Earth Sciences:  2.68 partners.

#4.)  Education:  2.74 partners.

#5.)  Philosophy:  2.79 partners.

According to a new survey, one of the most popular ways to save money is . . . to BREAK the LAW?  53% of people have done something illegal to save money.  The most common illegal activity is switching labels on products to pay a cheaper price.  41% of people have parked illegally, and 8% have stolen something outright. A survey by a British coupon website found that one of the best ways to stretch your money is to BREAK the LAW?  53% of us have done something illegal to save money.

Here are the most-common illegal activities:

#1.)  Switching labels:  Of the people who admit to being shady to save money, 53% have replaced the label on an expensive item with a cheaper one.    

#2.)  Parking illegally:  41% of drivers have taken a chance on a parking ticket.

#3.)  Lying to friends:  32% of people have stuck friends with a bill by pretending not to have cash.  Which is unethical, not illegal, but still.

#4.)  Tricking the self-checkout scanners:  Either by not ringing everything up, or lying about which item you're weighing.  29% of people have done it.

#5.)  Stealing:  8% of those surveyed had straight-up stolen something

31-year-old William Martinez of Lawrenceville, Georgia was a married father of two.  And back on March 12th, 2009, William had a THREESOME.  Not with his wife.  And not with two women. 

--With another woman, and a male buddy of his . . . a.k.a., the DEVIL'S THREEWAY.

--Anyway, William's heart gave out, and he actually DIED during the threesome.  So his wife and family decided to SUE his doctor, Dr. Sreenivasulu Gangasani . . . for not warning William about the risks of extreme physical activity.

--Apparently William had high blood pressure, and had visited the doctor one week before the threesome to complain about chest pains.  He was due in for a heart stress test the next week, and should've stopped physical activity until then.

--And this week, a jury actually AGREED with the family.  They awarded $3 MILLION for medical malpractice, because they believed Gangasani should've warned William to avoid extreme physical activity . . . including group sex.

--Gangasani's lawyers say they're obviously going to appeal.

Allow THIS to be the final push you needed to get your breasts done.  Not only will they make your clothes fit better, not only will they pay for themselves in free drinks and getting out of speeding tickets, but they'll crank up your SEX LIFE too.

--A new survey of women with breast enhancements found that they enhance every aspect of getting-it-on . . .

--61% of women with implants say they now have sex more frequently.

--75% of women with enhanced breasts say their partners also think the implants have improved HIS sex life.

--And women averaged a 34% increase in sexual satisfaction.

--The people behind the survey believe all of this comes from the CONFIDENCE that breast enhancement brings.

--And now, the only detail that kind of brings us down . . . the survey was done by a company called BestPlasticSurgeryGuide.com.  So they might not be the MOST objective researchers.