Drunk In Dublin Day #2: How I Failed America
The stereotype that the Irish are tremendous drinkers is true. My evidence is based on being part of an excursion sponsored by a whiskey, so the environment may favor inebriation. The Jameson people were vigilant enablers, armed with bottles at the ready in case you needed to enhance the experience..wherever that experience was happening. The top of a mountain, in your hotel room, at the broadcast event, any bar, bathroom, or bus. They were amazing. I love them. I think the Irish are so good at drinking because they have the best remedy for the morning after. No, not more whiskey, I'm talking about the mighty Irish Breakfast.
First and foremost, Irish Bacon is the greatest in the world. Thick, smokey, salty slabs of greasy goodness that slow the heart and blood flow and halt the throbbing pain that comes with a night of indulgence. Also, asking for poached eggs in Ireland is no problem, even at the greasiest diner like the place we ate on day 2, The Badass Cafe in Temple Bar. Combine those ingredients with grilled tomatoes, strong Irish Coffee, and the ubiquitous "pudding". Not the sweet treat Bill Cosby endorsed. We're talking about "Blood Pudding". Made with sheep or pig blood boiled down to a pudding like thickness with other mystery fillings and shoved into a sausage skin. After it's fried up, it's cut into thick slices and served with everything. It's brilliant, as they say in Ireland. Add a couple of pork sausages and your hangover is gone within minutes.
On this day we were broadcasting live from The Church Bar in Dublin. Formerly St. Mary's Cathedral, a historic place of worship built in the early 1700's. Arthur Guinness, founder of the Guinness Brewery was married here. Legendary Irish playwright, Sean O'Casey was baptised here as well as the founder of The United Irishman, Wolfe Tone. The founder of the Methodist Church, John Wesley gave his first sermon here. Handel's "Messiah" was first performed here in 1742 by the composer himself. Apparently this wasn't enough to impress God and the church closed in 1964. But praise Jesus, in 2005 it reopened as a bar. The most impressive part to me is the disinterment of various Bishops and Cardinals from the maze-like tombs in the basement to make way for a dance club. With the current Pedophile Priest problem going on in Ireland they should have left them down there so the victims could literally dance on their graves.
Here are the bartenders I had to deal with while I was "working" at The Church Bar in Dublin. Hey, whatever it takes, right?
Later that night, all the radio people assembled at The Old Jameson Distillery for the Drink Jockey Competition. We were all charged with creating a cocktail for this event featuring Jameson Irish Whiskey and whatever else that would best represent our respective cities and countries. The WAAF team(me and my wife with the input of some of our listeners) after researching for many days and drunken hours came up with "The Boston Tea Party". Sweetened Ice Tea, Jameson, shaken with ice, poured into a sugared glass and garnished with lemon. A mixture of two cultures who ejected the British Royals from their lands to achieve Independence. God bless America!...and Ireland. Thanks to the AAF listeners voting like Russian agents we
were able to make the finals along with New York, Milwaukee, Vancouver, Mexico, and the underdog, Bulgaria. Yes, after years of being force fed Soviet Vodka, the Bulgarians embraced their freedom with Irish Whiskey. We all had to mix our cocktails on stage in front of the Jameson top brass and the rest of the drunken rabble. I thought I had it in the bag, smooth presentation, quips toward the Brits, a big "Slainte" at the end. But it may have been one of those instances where I was so drunk that, to me, it seemed like I was mixing it up like Brian Flannagan, but the judges were probably seeing Rip Torn. The Mexican DJ put on the best show, invoking the memory of his dead Mother, who wasn't really dead, and almost losing a thumb cutting up the chili pepper he used in his mango/whiskey concoction. Team Vancouver was smooth, but the only thing that could save their Grenadine soaked drink was the tremendous rack of the smokin' woman mixing it. The Bulgarian representative could barely speak English and make it through the presentation but ended up winning because his drink was actually pretty damn good. Some kind of blackberry juice with fresh lime and mint on crushed ice. Just to be sure it was good, I had three...or four. I'm sorry America. First the loss to Canada in Hockey, now falling to a former Soviet conquest that ranks 61st on the Human Development Index. I crawled back to my hotel room for some more Television Xanax(BBC1) and 12 year old whiskey goodness.
Tags : Social : bacon, Badass cafe, Blood pudding, Boston Tea Party, Bulgaria, Church Bar, drunk, Dublin, Handel, Irish, Jameson Irish Whiskey, Messiah, soviet vodka, tremendous rack, Vancouver