Unfortunately, right now, due to FAA Regulations, this can only happen in the UK. But isn't it brilliant?
Pizza can(and someday will) be delivered as the Crow(or drone) flies. Eliminating traffic hold ups and lost drivers. We also won't have to worry about tipping. I'm sure their could be some set backs. Someone might try to abduct the drone and use it for their own evil purposes like spying on their X-Wife. There's also the risk of the drone malfunctioning and falling from the sky, pizza and all, into heavy surface traffic. Causing a major accident and possibly second to third degree burns from the delicious hot cheese or meat.
Which brings me to my next point:
There has been a lot of discussion about the use of Drones by the U.S. government for the War On Terror. Whether it's collateral damage from a drone launched missile strike or the possibility of drones patrolling the skies over America spying on it's Citizenry. At what price our safety and freedom? At..what..price? This is my solution in two mouth watering parts:
1. Instead of firing missiles and taking out suspected Terrorists and possibly killing innocent bystanders in the process, why don't we drop a hellish rain of PIPING HOT PIZZA? That's right, harshly deliver one of America's favorite foods and main suspects for it's obesity epidemic? If we're lucky, a terrorist may suffer from horrific burns or maybe lose an eye from a slice of crispy pepperoni or stuffed crust. Imagine the horror of a Muslim terrorist if they were to discover that the pie or calzone that just burst all over them was a meat lovers pizza with extra bacon?
A more non-lethal method would be to set the drones down gently at their location with a couple of large pies, some bread sticks, wings, and a couple liters of soda. Once these guys get a woman to taste it first to make sure it's not poisoned they would go nuts! Of course the delivery would come with several buy one get one free coupons and the phone number. Because they'll be calling. After a few more deliveries we would then move on to phase two of Operation Fat Ass: Delivery of XBox Game Systems and Giant screen TV's. Once they hook that baby up and after a few dozen more food drops, they will never want to leave the cave. They'll be too fat to move and to obsessed with getting to the next level of Call Of Duty: Black Ops. Also, Pizza is way cheaper than missiles and pizza makers would be needed, thus creating jobs.
2. Regarding domestic drone surveillance, I say, give the power to the Pizza Guys. Why can't we spy on Americans while delivering delicious hot pizza? Domino's, Pizza Hut, and every other Pizza Joint that has a drone must also be responsible for community safety. While making a delivery, drones can keep an eye on the neighborhood and peer into the recipients home. We can have a NSPABSA(National Pizza And Bread stick Security Agency) If there is any illegal activity, perceived threat, or problem with your order, special Pizza Tactical Teams(PTT's) will be deployed to the location to take care of the situation.
Of course, there will be resistance. Evil Doers will try to take down the drones, creating a safety hazard and even worse..depriving Americans of their Pizza, or Sub, or wings. It won't be easy. But I believe it will work.
No, seriously, a pony walked into a liquor store in Warren, RI on Memorial Day lead by it's owner, William Saviano. Apparently they had just been the special entertainment for a Kid's party and were thirsty for an alcoholic beverage. Really, what's more fun than a ride on a shaky alcoholic Donkey with a shaky alcoholic trainer? What is the preferred drink of a Pony anyway? Colt 45? Bud Ponies? Hahaha...I got nothin'. They ended up not getting anything. Most likely because the Pony was underage.
Unfortunately the Pony decided to drop a steaming pile in the packy. That's when the employees decided to herd the two entertainers out to pasture. The Cops were called in after the owner wouldn't clean up the poop. Eventually the Police convinced him to do so and the store didn't press charges. Cops have to deal with the craziest shit....get it? ...I got nothin'.
At TWO years old this kid knows how to pick a lock with finger nail clippers. By 22 he'll be lifting paintings from the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum and laughing at the world. Where did he learn how to do this?
The Defendant's name is Penelope Soto, busted for possession of Xanax and being really ditzy. Presiding over this case is the Honorable Judge Jorge Rodriguez-Chomat. He has a bit of a jovial Santa Clause- like vibe about him but don't be fresh in his court room. Miss Soto learned that the hard way and is now in the can for 30 days for showing the Judge her little well manicured finger. Never, NEVER, mess with a Judge, even if it's Traffic Court. They'll show you the entire long arm of the law. Maybe if Miss Soto would've said, "Adios, Your Honor" it may he may have ruled differently. Judge Rodriguez-Chomat seemed amused..but apparently was not that amused.
It's time again to grab your favorite beer and liquor and drink your way through another Presidential Debate. Because nothing help's a voter decide better than getting totally dismantled...I think Benjamin Franklin said that? Who cares really, the candidates make sh*t up all the time, right? So here are the official rules for the 1st Presidential Debate Of The 2012 Campaign with Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and President Barack Obama:
Take a drink of your beer if either candidate says the words, Economy, Jobs, or Taxes. They'll probably say these words a lot so just a drink. Don't want to pass out before halftime.
Chug your whole beer if someone mentions 47%
Take a shot if one of the candidates says "The Truth is..", "Obamacare", or "Health Care". Take two shots if a candidate utters the term "Middle Class."
If one of the candidates says "Mormon" don't drink.
If Moderator Jim Lehrer happens to say, "Will you guys just cut the CRAP?!" then eat an entire box of chocolate doughnuts(the large size, no minis)
If Mitt Romney says "Gosh" then Butt Chug whatever you got in front of you.
If either of the candidates agrees with each other then punch yourself in the face.
Finally, if even one hair falls out of place on Romney's head, immediately inject yourself with heroin while making love to your pet.(If no pet is available then you can use a sock or a jar of Fluff)
There you go. Pretty simple. Make sure you take notes because those are always funny to look at the next morning. Now here's a picture of one of our greatest Presidents treating himself after kicking some Nazi Ass:
