Last we heard from McAfee Anti-Virus software founder John McAfee he landed in Miami after a bizarre Odyssey through Belize(where he allegedly abandoned his $20,000,000 fortune) and Guatemala(where they thought he was so crazy the forced him to come back to the U.S.) Check out the Hollywood ready story here.
Now Mr. McAfee has addressed complaints about his namesake product in this short instructional video on how to uninstall the software. WARNING: This video is NSFW and HILARIOUS!
She's absolutely right when she says, "I think we can relate this back to education". Well, not those exact words, but I get what she's saying...I think. What I mean to say is...LOOK AT THOSE TITS!!
In all fairness, we are not expecting Miss USA to cure Cancer. But if she could, I'd vote for her. Marissa Powell gave a better response to the same question on the Today Show the following day. Kind of..
Not that I have never made a mistake when speaking in front of people. I do it every weekday from 10am-3pm on Boston's Rock Station, WAAF. On the air, many years ago, during a stretch of rainy days I said, "It seems like the sun is a million miles away today." Then a listener called and said, "Hey Mike, the Sun is actually about 93 million miles away." Who am I, Carl Sagan? Basically, what I'm trying to say is, LOOK AT MY TITS!
First of all, those shots look a little light to be Jager. Usually, Jagermeister is black like the color you see after drinking half a bottle and nine beers. Maybe these are Jager Bombs? They like their fruity drinks in the British Isles so they must be cut with some kind of sweet mixer. I had my doubts..until the end. I watched all the way through until the explosive finale. It was amazing how heavy those shots became after 30. The poor guy could barely lift them.
This is NOT drinking responsibly. Jager should be consumed at a steady pace until you start swinging punches at the person who came up to you and simply said, "Hi". That's when you know you should stop and leave before you're thrown out by bouncers you may have called "pussies". Again, I am not a Doctor...or a very good drinker.
I am not a frequent Air Traveler. But it seems every time I do travel with the Airlines, 4 out of 5 times there is a delay. It's just part of the luxury of the Jet Set. During these delays, the lowly coach passengers must forage for food and shelter in the terminal or in jungle-like heat on a plane parked on the tarmac. Meanwhile the first class folks get to enjoy the time in Caligula like comfort, going full on Orgy mode while rubbing lobster and steak from the endless buffet all over the super model stewardess' bodies. One day, The Economy Class will revolt and rig up a make-shift Guillotine out of $5.00 headphones and First class cutlery and watch the heads of the Air Royalty roll down the aisles.
Recently some stranded flyers took it upon themselves to supply some in-flight(or maybe, on-ground) entertainment. In this first video, members of the Philadelphia Orchestra, broke out their instruments to jam some Dvorzak during a three hour delay in Beijing. I hope they didn't have to pay for their pretzels..or any drinks.
In this next video, a passenger with a rarely seen boombox, leads his fellow prisoners in song with R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly". When you're sitting on a 100 degree Las Vegas tarmac in a steel tube for a few hours you have to laugh. Maybe the smell of steaming lavatories inspired this gentleman to play the R. Kelly.
Singing and laughing is definitely better than a violent uprising.
Unfortunately, right now, due to FAA Regulations, this can only happen in the UK. But isn't it brilliant?
Pizza can(and someday will) be delivered as the Crow(or drone) flies. Eliminating traffic hold ups and lost drivers. We also won't have to worry about tipping. I'm sure their could be some set backs. Someone might try to abduct the drone and use it for their own evil purposes like spying on their X-Wife. There's also the risk of the drone malfunctioning and falling from the sky, pizza and all, into heavy surface traffic. Causing a major accident and possibly second to third degree burns from the delicious hot cheese or meat.
Which brings me to my next point:
There has been a lot of discussion about the use of Drones by the U.S. government for the War On Terror. Whether it's collateral damage from a drone launched missile strike or the possibility of drones patrolling the skies over America spying on it's Citizenry. At what price our safety and freedom? At..what..price? This is my solution in two mouth watering parts:
1. Instead of firing missiles and taking out suspected Terrorists and possibly killing innocent bystanders in the process, why don't we drop a hellish rain of PIPING HOT PIZZA? That's right, harshly deliver one of America's favorite foods and main suspects for it's obesity epidemic? If we're lucky, a terrorist may suffer from horrific burns or maybe lose an eye from a slice of crispy pepperoni or stuffed crust. Imagine the horror of a Muslim terrorist if they were to discover that the pie or calzone that just burst all over them was a meat lovers pizza with extra bacon?
A more non-lethal method would be to set the drones down gently at their location with a couple of large pies, some bread sticks, wings, and a couple liters of soda. Once these guys get a woman to taste it first to make sure it's not poisoned they would go nuts! Of course the delivery would come with several buy one get one free coupons and the phone number. Because they'll be calling. After a few more deliveries we would then move on to phase two of Operation Fat Ass: Delivery of XBox Game Systems and Giant screen TV's. Once they hook that baby up and after a few dozen more food drops, they will never want to leave the cave. They'll be too fat to move and to obsessed with getting to the next level of Call Of Duty: Black Ops. Also, Pizza is way cheaper than missiles and pizza makers would be needed, thus creating jobs.
2. Regarding domestic drone surveillance, I say, give the power to the Pizza Guys. Why can't we spy on Americans while delivering delicious hot pizza? Domino's, Pizza Hut, and every other Pizza Joint that has a drone must also be responsible for community safety. While making a delivery, drones can keep an eye on the neighborhood and peer into the recipients home. We can have a NSPABSA(National Pizza And Bread stick Security Agency) If there is any illegal activity, perceived threat, or problem with your order, special Pizza Tactical Teams(PTT's) will be deployed to the location to take care of the situation.
Of course, there will be resistance. Evil Doers will try to take down the drones, creating a safety hazard and even worse..depriving Americans of their Pizza, or Sub, or wings. It won't be easy. But I believe it will work.
This first video is like a Mai Tai, after you watch it you're going to find yourself still laughing and your speech may be slurred. This is one of the greatest duets in the history of music. Thomas Dolby and the second man to walk on the MOON, Buzz Aldrin. Thankfully recorded performing at the Smithsonian's "The Future Is Here Conference. After walking on the Moon you can throw all f***s out the window and just have a great time.
This second video is like Prozac. Mr. Rogers has that effect on people of all ages. This video is the equivalent of taking your work blazer off and slipping on that comfy zip up sweater.
There..doesn't that fell better. Have a nice weekend..
The Nine Inch Nails monster seems fully awake now with this past week's flurry of activity from the Halo camp. Yesterday they announced the name of the new album will be, "Hesitation Marks"(out September 3) and also released a new song called "Came Back Haunted" which you can listen to below. They also announced a few more dates for their upcoming tour which includes a stop at the TD Garden in Boston on October 11. Needless to say...my pants are tight!
Trent Reznor recently said on the NIN website that he was inspired to get the band back together from working on other projects:
"I've been less than honest about what I've really been up to lately. For the last year I've been secretly working non-stop with Atticus Ross and Alan Moulder on a new, full-length Nine Inch Nails record, which I am happy to say is finished and frankly fucking great. This is the real impetus and motivation behind the decision to assemble a new band and tour again. My forays into film, HTDA and other projects really stimulated me creatively and I decided to focus that energy on taking Nine Inch Nails to a new place. Here we go!"
There are tons of Isolated Vocal tracks on Youtube. They can be hilarious like David Lee Roth's to super intense like Kurt Cobain. But this one I found on Open Culture is pretty amazing. Queen's "Under Pressure" was recorded in 1981, before the world went digital and way before Auto-Tune became the biggest scam in music. Check out Freddy Mercury killing it here.
And just for fun, here's Lemmy from Motorhead ripping through "Ace Of Spades". You can hear every cigarette, bottle of whiskey, and mile of bad road in that gravel pile of a voice. Auto-Tune would just ruin that.
Linkin Park has enjoyed Platinum success for more than a decade now. While selling 50 million albums world wide has given them access to some of the most effective and gigantic promotional machines available, they decided to try promoting their Headlining gig at this year's Sunset Strip Music Festival by returning to the old stand-by: The Flyer. Maybe they should have put the current band name on the flyer instead of the two former names. They might have been more successful.
When the chips are down, and the shit hits the fan, just love America. This kid is the embodiment of The Star Spangled Banner. Against great odds he persevered and was there to the end. Sure, this video is all over the internet and his less patriotic friends have probably already given him loads of crap, but what the hell was he supposed to do? Did George Washington let the Delaware River stop him from attaining victory at Trenton? Did Neil Armstrong let the fact that he could be stranded on the Moon prevent him from taking that first step? Did this Kid let a broken cymbal ruin this country's National Anthem? HELL NO! Rock On awkward cymbal guy! Screw the haters. Nobody else could've handled the situation any better. Your country thanks you.
The Crowd Funding Tool Kickstarter seems to be catching on with people who don't seem to need it so much like Zach Braff and the daughters of Big Time Director David Mamet. It is a great way to get finances when you may not have the connections or support from established sources.
Comedian, Artist, Musician, and Fairly Rich Guy, Jon Lajoie is hoping to use Kickstarter to fund his latest project: To be the Richest Man In The World. Before you get all bent out of shape, hear him out:
Seems pretty legit. Who doesn't have the same dreams? If you're not familiar with Lajoie's work, here's my favorite piece:
Just to let you know, I made a hypothetical pledg of $64.12 to Jon's dreams. You can do the same here.
No, seriously, a pony walked into a liquor store in Warren, RI on Memorial Day lead by it's owner, William Saviano. Apparently they had just been the special entertainment for a Kid's party and were thirsty for an alcoholic beverage. Really, what's more fun than a ride on a shaky alcoholic Donkey with a shaky alcoholic trainer? What is the preferred drink of a Pony anyway? Colt 45? Bud Ponies? Hahaha...I got nothin'. They ended up not getting anything. Most likely because the Pony was underage.
Unfortunately the Pony decided to drop a steaming pile in the packy. That's when the employees decided to herd the two entertainers out to pasture. The Cops were called in after the owner wouldn't clean up the poop. Eventually the Police convinced him to do so and the store didn't press charges. Cops have to deal with the craziest shit....get it? ...I got nothin'.
Take 60 seconds to watch this video. Especially if you're a parent.
From watching this video a few times I gather that some boys that are acquaintances of this young 14 year old lady posted some provocative language and pictures of their penises on her Facebook page. I've also surmised that she has been in trouble about this before. I also know that if this girl is in a pinch, she'll throw her friend under the bus. I feel bad for whoever this Mary is because you know this raging Mother called her Parents to let her know she's involved with all these "dicks and shit".
As the Parent of an 8 year old girl I can't wait until she starts getting involved with boys. I'm sure it's going to be lots of fun! I also like to have my teeth drilled while doing my taxes. At the risk of sounding old farty again, when I was 14 we didn't have Social Media or camera phones. You had to take a picture of your penis with your Instamatic Camera and then take the film down to CVS so they could send it out to be developed. After about a week you had to look up the lucky girl's address in the Phone Book and put the picture in an envelope to send it by U.S. Mail! It was complicated process..not that I would know, I'm only guessing. But now instead of 2 weeks it only takes 2 minutes to take the picture, apply a nice vintage looking filter with Oggl, maybe a cool frame, and bang! My daughter has a picture of some shithead's penis. Fuck you Zuckerberg.
I feel this woman is actually being easy on her daughter. My first instinct would be to hunt down and kill the owner of the penis and then turn my home into a Branch Dividian type strong hold too keep all the penises out and my precious flower in to be home schooled. That's healthy right? I don't know if I'd go so far as to post a video of me beating my kid on her Facebook page. I don't know the whole back story but I'm guessing the Mother in this video may not want her daughter to make the same mistakes she did at her age. Of course every parent wants that. But Teenage Hormones don't always aid in sound decision making. So is Mom being too harsh here? What would your reaction be? How would you try to stop your kid from exchanging pictures of genitalia on the internet? Where can I find a decent shotgun and a deal on barbed wire?
In the short time that I've been a parent I've realized kids are Karma. All the trouble and worry I caused my Parents is coming back to bite me in the ass. At least my Mother is still alive to get some entertainment out of it all.