In light of the incredible reporting by Deadspin on the Manti Te’o story, I think some reflection is required for those of you who are currently in a serious relationship with someone on the internet, who you’ve yet to meet in person. I’m not saying that everyone on the interwebs is not who they say they are but there may be some simple questions you want to ask yourself so that you don’t find yourself in the unenviable situation that the Notre Dame Linebacker finds himself in today.
1) Does the internet fiancé you met on Plenty of Fish sometimes confuse you with their choice of phrasing. For instance, when you ask what she’s doing over the weekend, does she ever write back “that she and the guys are going to Hooters to get wings, beer and to creep on chicks”
2) Has the girl you met on the internet last week, and fell head over heels in love with, ever asked you to deposit $50,000 in an offshore account so she can collect $2,000,000, which the two of you can share?
3) Do you ever email a sonnet to your internet girlfriend and get an “out of office” reply email from Josh in Accounting?
4) Has the smoking hot 23 year old college girl you met on Chat Roulette ever accidentally messaged you on X-Box live under the gamer name “Big Rod Randy”?
5) When you and your internet fiancé talk about future plans post marriage, does she ever suggest that the two of you live apart while you play in the NFL, and that you send her monthly checks so she can support the child you two are having, who was actually born before you met?
I don’t want to alarm you. I sure most on-line only relationships, unlike Manti’s are real. It’s just the cynic in me who thinks you may want to do a little more prying, and actually take the step of meeting your beloved in person, before you commit too much.