BACON ALERT! SUNDAE, SUNDAE!
by Mike Hsu
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posted Jun 12 2012 10:05PM
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Of the Big Three Fast Food burger chains Burger King tried the hardest to remain true to itself. Shunning efforts to offer “Healthier” items like salads, wraps, and smoothies. The King didn’t believe the alarmist cries of “Obesity Epidemic” and that fun killer practice of “Portion Control”. The King stayed the course and at times actually seemed to flagrantly mock the Fat Nazis by offering things like the
Bacon Orgasm inducing BK Quad Stacker with it’s four patties with cheese. And who could forget the cartoonish Meat’normous Omelet Sandwich: “Meat on top of meat, on top of meat” One of them could feed the entire African nation of Eritrea for a week.
Recently the King has given in to pressure from the Food Nazis and started adding “Healthy Choices” to their menu. But with every health conscious Ying there’s a fat-ass Yang to sit on it’s chest and shove a fatty slab of animal flesh down it’s throat. Tomorrow the King will offer some new BBQ items along with their new BK Bacon Sundae. Soft serve vanilla ice cream with Hot Fudge, Caramel, Bacon Crumbles, garnished with a whole slice of bacon. They should just call it “The Diabetes”. This great American heart stopper checks in at 510 calories with 18 grams of fat and 61 grams of sugar. Take that Mrs. Obama! The only thing it needs is more Bacon and maybe a good beer batter to deep fry it in. I'll see you in the dining room because there's no way I'll be able to eat that thing and drive. Spilled Bacon is such a tragedy.
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